Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
How do I get past the anger?
Ok, so we left our former RE last year after a horrible experience with an HSG gone wrong, spending 30 days in a hospital all because he reacted too late. This doctor started off nice enough, but he definately did not instill a level of confidence after I developed an infection from an HSG procedure. Even a nurse had to tell him to do something like seek a second opionion because the large doses of antibiotics were NOT working. He looked nervous and uptight.
We stayed with him after I finally got better, but the relationship wasn't the same. My mother (retired RN) disliked him from the beginning. She thought he wasn't decisive enough to make decisions and waited until everyone else around him breathed down his neck to do the right thing. I look back now and realized that he may not have liked to seek help and as a result, I suffered as his patient. Not to mention my family suffering.
He was from a large infertility clinic in central Jersey. I noticed that his picture was no longer on the billboards and thought that maybe he left to start his own practice. I googled him and found a listing at a funeral home. I thought heart attack or car accident. Only to find out that this practice was trying to force him out and he felt that taking his life was the only way out.
I question his mental abilities now and will always wonder if other decisions could have been made to save my ovary.
I'm so angry at this guy, but its useless now that he's dead. I wasn't a typical case and did not fit in with the "bell curve" of the typical type of infertility. I think that he did not have the expertise to properly treat me, but was too proud to suggest someone that knew more than he did. I'm with an amazing fertility doctor now and wonder everyday why I did not meet him first.
This is just for venting. I don't know how to get past the "what if I never met this doctor".
I feel upset and cheated, but oddly not that surprised.
I'm so angry, but feel really bad for his family.
How do I get past this?
Ok, so we left our former RE last year after a horrible experience with an HSG gone wrong, spending 30 days in a hospital all because he reacted too late. This doctor started off nice enough, but he definately did not instill a level of confidence after I developed an infection from an HSG procedure. Even a nurse had to tell him to do something like seek a second opionion because the large doses of antibiotics were NOT working. He looked nervous and uptight.
We stayed with him after I finally got better, but the relationship wasn't the same. My mother (retired RN) disliked him from the beginning. She thought he wasn't decisive enough to make decisions and waited until everyone else around him breathed down his neck to do the right thing. I look back now and realized that he may not have liked to seek help and as a result, I suffered as his patient. Not to mention my family suffering.
He was from a large infertility clinic in central Jersey. I noticed that his picture was no longer on the billboards and thought that maybe he left to start his own practice. I googled him and found a listing at a funeral home. I thought heart attack or car accident. Only to find out that this practice was trying to force him out and he felt that taking his life was the only way out.
I question his mental abilities now and will always wonder if other decisions could have been made to save my ovary.
I'm so angry at this guy, but its useless now that he's dead. I wasn't a typical case and did not fit in with the "bell curve" of the typical type of infertility. I think that he did not have the expertise to properly treat me, but was too proud to suggest someone that knew more than he did. I'm with an amazing fertility doctor now and wonder everyday why I did not meet him first.
This is just for venting. I don't know how to get past the "what if I never met this doctor".
I feel upset and cheated, but oddly not that surprised.
I'm so angry, but feel really bad for his family.
How do I get past this?
But first, I am really sorry that you had this horrible experience with this doctor. Shame on his practice for not addressing this sooner, or trying to work something to help patients, as well as him.
Here's my story... My son recently flew over his handlebars on his bike and broke his fall with his face. It was horrible. I had been telling him for weeks to not look behind him while he was riding, but he continued to do so and so he learned the hard way. After I cleaned him up I said, you cannot look behind you when you are riding forward, or your bike will tilt (he is still on training wheels) and you will fall.
I think this analogy works well in life in general. You never look back on a bike, or in life... you always look forward and keep your eyes on the horizon. Keep your eyes on the prize and the future. You are with a wonderful doctor now... that's your horizon... embrace it and don't look back, or you will tilt and fall, aka continue to struggle.
I hope this helped!
HUGS LOVE AND JOY,
Kristin
http://www.agiftofmiles.com
Join me on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Minneapolis-MN/A-Gift-of-Miles/215263248789?ref=ts
Its already tomorrow, so I have to focus on the future.
Karrie, I can't imagine hearing that news. What a horrible thing to go through and I am sure it makes you wonder so many things. I hope you find peace with the situation soon.
My DH and I tried naturally and with meds for 10 years and decided we needed to look at IVF because we were told that would be our only way. I can't look back on those 10 years and say "what if" or "if only". I just have to move forward towards the future.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you during this struggle that you are going through. I am so glad that you found another RE that you are comfortable with and is giving you positive hope and a positive outlook. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that your dreams will come true.