Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Hello everyone,
I first joined this group about a year ago when I thought my husband and I would be attempting IVF shortly with my own eggs. Unfortunately we received devastating news last July when our doctor told me my ovarian reserve was too low to even attempt using my own eggs. I was devastated. My husband later revealed he was relieved. That hurt more than the original news. This is my first marriage and his second. He has two daughters from his first marriage so he does not feel the desperation and hear the clock ticking like I do. In truth, he would be fine not even trying to have another child; this is not an option for me. I know this is my last chance. After many heart to hearts, he has RELUCTANTLY agreed to pursue third party donor eggs in the hopes it will work for me. After many months of soul-searching, I knew I absolutely have to try with a donor. He is still not convinced but because he loves me, he is "willing" to try it with me so I can hopefully realize the dream of becoming a mother... finally. We tried for two years the good, old-fashioned way, but nothing. This is my last shot and I am trying so desperately to stay positive.
I had a horribly low AMH too and was afraid my IVF wouldn't work. Luckily with high dose meds and close monitoring we were able to get some viable embryos. Best of luck to you!
Secondly, I'm not suggesting your relationship and differences of opinions have been a walk in the park (at all), however it's very optimistic to hear about your husbands support of your donor process. I am struggling with feeling supported by my partner through out infertility issues and treatment. I wish you much success moving in the process.
He recently changed his tune and decided, yes, we would actively try. That was when I got the same news you did. My ovarian reserve is too low to even try. I'm 33, and I will likely be in menopause within the next year or two. I can't describe the devastation and hurt this brought to me, the knowledge that I will NEVER have my own biological child. I am trying to get past it, but it is hard. I am somewhat comforted by the knowledge that we can pursue IVF with donor eggs, and he does support that, but I have to wonder how different this will be for him after having no issues with his ex-wife conceiving. It literally breaks my heart to think about it, and when I break down and cry, he does not understand why.
No one can truly understand another's pain, but if anyone can come close, I think we can to each other's. My heart breaks for you, and I wish you the absolute best as you pursue the donor egg option. I hope so much that it works out.
EJS711 - I feel your pain. I feel the grief. I believe that the grief and devastation of realizing you will never have a DNA baby of your own will never fully go away. It's like grieving the death of someone you love. You find a way to move on every day and find joy in so many things, but there will always be something missing and something to grieve. This is something you have to find peace with. It will always hurt and always be sad, but there are other places to focus your energy and attention on. I never judge the feelings I have and I still cry about it. It is a hurt and grief I hope many women never know. But the thought of still being able to carry a child and give birth, and nurse, and raise a child is AMAZING to me... this is why I am ready to try with a donor. I am here if you every need to chat. I feel the same pain and I understand. Big hugs.