Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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Filling a void

sombermood
sombermood

Hello,


I'm feeling very foolish. I've been searching for another specialist since I didn't feel comfortable with the 1st doctor. I felt like I should be doing something since I'm not doing IVF right now so I entered an online school program. My husband encouraged me to wait because he felt it would be too stressful but I was addiment that I could do it because after all I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING to occupy my mind besides wonder why I can't have a baby the natural way. Not to mention 2 of my coworkers are pregnant and I feel anger instead of joy for them. Anyway after starting this program, I realized I'm not superwoman, its highly stressful, I bombed the 1st test, and unable to keep up with the work. I feel like an idiot because now I've been breaking out in hives due to the stress. I've wasted money that we really don't have to waste. And now I have to tell my husband he was right and I should have never attempted this school thing. After all I already have a job. I just needed to focus on something else for a little while but I really feel silly for just now realizing I was probably trying to fill a void. I'm not sure why I didn't look for something free and less stressful. Has anyone else ever made a rash decision during this process? Please don't let me be the only one making bad decisions. 

Worn-out
Worn-out
Hi sombermood, do not beat yourself up over this! I feel like the need to fill that void is more than common. I'm sorry that you are going through that and I hope the talk with your husband goes well. Hopefully he can understand that need to fill what is missing. If not we will understand here! I think it's something really difficult for the men to understand why it hurts so bad and the feeling of constantly knowing something is missing from your everyday life and all you want to do is stop that feeling.. That honestly sounds like something I would do and thinking about it I'm surprised I haven't. I wish you all the luck and just remember what you are going through. It's not worth stressing out more because it didn't work out.
MrsO.
MrsO.
We moved house and I got a new job in the same week! I kept saying how I felt my life was on hold and I wasn't moving forward and I just couldn't get to the end of another year with nothing ... well now lots has happened! I am happy I have, but it was pretty stressful and overwhelming. Luckily when you move house you can call in favours to lend a hand, so I didn't have to do it all myself like you do with the course.

Be kind and generous with yourself. This process is a strange mix of nothing and everything if that makes sense! You are so often just waiting for the next stage but it's also life consuming. It's normal to want to find a way to get through those months of waiting.

My husband and I had too have a few heart to hearts about this type of thing. He wasn't angry with me but just upset because we usually communicate really well and I wasn't listening to his advice. All he wanted to do was help. When I explained how the process was making me feel, he understood why I was acting the way I was.

Hope it goes well!
plumberchic
plumberchic
Let him know quit trying to kill your self working too much and maybe you could get back some of the money if you withdrawal from the class. I tend to do the same thing except with dieting or gym memberships I get them then quit after a couple months cuz it's stressing me out and I stop losing weight.