Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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Feeling Crushed!

michie97
michie97

Hi everyone, 


My husband and I have been doing IUI for a few month, and lost one pregnancy. This last month the doctor called and said he feel with this cycle going so well he really thinks we should try IVF, which of course our insurance does not cover.  We decided to pay out of pocket for it. We went did the egg retrieval, and they only got three eggs, and then only two fertilized, and then got the call this weekend that either developed. So no moving forward. I and my husband were crushed, the doctor wants to try again and give a discount but this was so hard with so many hopes, just to coming crashing down again. I think we will go for it again but so hard. 

lilie315
lilie315
Hi So sorry to hear this!! It's so frustrating when Dr's give us encouraging news - in my opinion anyway it just builds up to the possibilities and then the realities hurt that much more. I just completed my first IUI and not supposed to test till Wednesday but couldnt' stand the not knowing, so i tested today with a negative (of course it would be that!) Everyone at the Dr's office was like "Good luck and i happened to see my ob/gyn for an annual the next day and she's like ohh so exciting i think it will be good and maybe see you in a month"- really? Don't say that!! I don't need to hear from a medical perspective everything looks good and then for whatever reasons it doesn't work. I'm sure when you did the retrieval you were cautiously optimistic, but still - if a Dr - especially one who is so familiar with this area - says "it's going so well, you're looking good, let's try this" i feel like it just builds you up and then you are left crushed.

I'm sorry you and your hubby are going thru that. Can i ask how he's handling it? I'm trying to be strong for my husband b/c i know he hates when i'm upset but this effects him too. I feel like he doesn't need me dumping my feelings and struggles on him too.. Not like he'll talk about it all the time. I'm just looking for how guys are handling this. Sorry to mooch off your post but still sending you hugs and strength to get thru this.
michie97
michie97
Thank you for your encouragement this is hard and I hope the best for you too. My husband has been quiet and same hates seeing me upset so he doesn't talk about it much but when he does he opens up about how it hurts him and he wishes he could do more to help. But most men will hide it
lilie315
lilie315
Yup exactly. Not much of silver lining to be had...
kasiunia-petunia
kasiunia-petunia
Michie97, so sorry to hear about your disappointment. My husband and I had 3 IUIs this last year and they didn't work. We are doing IVF now. We have two healthy embryos waiting to be implanted at the end of the month.... I'm already worrying about them not taking and having to go through the ovarian stimulation and retrieval again.
Does your doctor's practice offer a "guaranteed program"? We are doing that... for a price of two cycles we get to try as many as 6 times or get $$ back. It will be more expensive if we get pregnant on the 1st try... but we decided to take this option..:
Best of luck to you!
michie97
michie97
Thank you so much Kasiunia-petunia, I wish the best on luck because every try that fail just hurts so much. My doctor's office did not have any program like that but they are going to try again, for basically nothing, only thing we will only be out of pocket for some medications. Everything happened so fast last time, and hopefully this time it will work if they do everything slower.