I am sorry to hear that this moment hit. I know it will hit me soon as I get 9 months away from my miscarriage.

I break down sometimes. Last night I said the same thing I say to my cat all the time "you love your mamma little kitty" and then started balling. It's totally normal and part of the grieving process. Still it hurts. I just take it day by day. Today I feel vulnerable. I am scared about the road ahead, and just tired from work. Every day is slightly different emotions, yet it's all focused on the same thing.

It is tiring, isn't it? Hope today is a little better...

I am so sorry you are struggling. I can just imagine what it feels like to miscarry...and twice at that:( This iF business really SUCKS and is so UNFAIR. My friend just had a baby too and it really hurts both physically and emotionally. Just know you are not alone. We are all here for you. Big hugs to you....xoxoxo

Tough stuff. You're definitely not alone in feeling this way. My younger sister had a baby 3 months ago and it still pains me to see them. Sometimes I wish the pain of IF would just go away so I can 1) have my own baby and 2) enjoy the pregnancies and babies of those I love.

Good luck to you

I don't think you are selfish or pathetic at all. Of course you want it to be you. That is a normal reaction. You have been through so much, and seeing someone who has travelled a similar path get what you so desperately want is such a difficult thing. Hang in there, allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and do your best to hold onto the hope that you will get your miracle one day soon.

Was that me talking or you? I often have the same exact feelings and neither one of us is selfish or pathetic. IF just plain stinks.
It is normal to have the feelings you have. There is a great book called unsung lullabies that goes into why we have these feelings, how to handle them, and how to understand them.
I've read the book though and my feelings are still here.
I wish you luck. Hang in there.

I wish I had seen this before I wrote my post just now... kinda the same topic...

You have to remember you are not a horrible person for being jealous... it took me a long time and a lot of crying on my pregnant sister's shoulder to get there... my niece is beautiful and I love her to pieces... but I don't just want to be the doting aunt, I want to be the momma!

Tonight in Cracker Barrel, my husband was browsing and found an outfit that he wanted to buy my niece. He said, "Let's get this for our little one!" and he was truly excited, but I just about cried.

I know I'm lucky that I haven't been through a miscarriage... but my husband has... he got his high school girlfriend pregnant, but that story ended in miscarriage. He brought it up the other night, so I went through the open door and asked him what it's like... and he got real quiet. I can't imaging that pain...

Just remember that everything you're feeling is justified... I know we all want to be good friends/sisters/aunts... but the people who really matter in our lives love us and will empathize with our struggle... even if they can't understand what we feel, they DO understand that we don't mean to be jealous and only wish the best for them... and that's what matters!

Oh sweetie, big loving hugs - you are not being "pathetic" or "selfish" just human, These feelings are natural and all part of the fun of infertility. The last thing you need to do is bet yourself up over feeling this way too!! If your friend suffered with IF too I am sure she will understand if you can't join in her bliss just yet, give yourself as much time as you need to get over it. Feel better.
Susan
xoxo

you are not being selfish.. you are hurt and it is understandable!! when my best friend was pregnant i had such a hard time coping with her complaining.. and i had no idea how i would deal with the baby when it came- so i was just honest with her about my struggles, and told her although i was happy for her i was hurting for myself..i think it was hard for her to understand sometimes but it helped that i could be honest and not just cry every time we hung up the phone... but sometimes i just had to cry and let it all out anyways.. it is not an easy boat to be in and you shouldnt feel guilty about how you feel.. take time to grieve, but just remember to stand back up and push forward when you can... we are all behind you 100%