I haven't had that hurdle. I did cry all they way through my cousin's wedding receiption, they had a slideshow going of the bride and groom as babies, etc. and I just lost it. Made eveyone in the family wonder, but I never told anyone why except my mom. Maybe go ontime, but leave before presents, give yourself maybe an hr, hr and a half. Set the alarm on your cell phone to vibrate at your appointed time to leave, then just say thanks, great party but I have to go and leave. Less is better maybe.

hi i pretend to be ill when things like this happen,my friends are always having kids birthday partys and i just cant bear it, the kids are not botherd if im there or not and i just end up in tears anyway so why would i put myself through that,i could not think of a worse place to be, everyone there playing and showing off their babies and then there is me all alone,ive told everyone about my situation and if they dont understand or say insensitive things then sod them, if they aint bothered about your feelings why should you be bothered about theirs.i just do something separate for mom and baby,just the 2 of you on another day, and you can always send a present, wow im on one !can you tell someone has said something insensitive to me today! lol

Ooh! Family baby showers are rough already, never mind the insensitive comments they
have already made (I remember your other posts).

I know for me, it helps when I can focus on doing something besides sitting there and watching...
-like helping get appetizers ready
-setting out plates
-getting ballons before everyone comes.
-picking up last minute items like ice, napkins, etc...

Maybe you can arrive early to help (you will show you are supportive). You can focus on the doing/helping and not focus on the sadness that can creep up in times like this. I know when my SIL had her shower all the balloons that I was blowing up were exactly the perfect size and color coordinated lol!!

My humble advice, focus on helping before and during the shower as much as possible. The less you have to do, the easier your feelings will creep up.

Good luck and hang in there...

HI-
I have had to do something very similar. I go to counseling and the suggestion was to prepare myself ahead of time that that day was not about me. I can have many days that are all about me but I had to set that aside day to honor someowne else. My special day will come. I did some journaling -prepared myself and got through the day remembering that the day wasn't about me. i don't know if it is possible for you but I wish you all the best. Good luck

How have I managed through these situations? I borrow a friend's child and take them with me. It sounds a bit self-serving but at least it takes the focus off being alone and being around other mothers with their children. But also similar to kimberley30, I pretend I am sick (if no child is available). Sorry to sound like a copout but why ruin a perfectly good shower with my sour attitude?

My advice is arrive early and help out, that way they will think you have been there for a long time. and right before the gifts say your going to go and your not feeling too well. Make something up with your back or you just got a pounding headache... anything just don't torture yourself if you don't have to. I know, it's hard because I am the godmother of my friends unborn child and I had to put on a performance the day of the shower, literally you could have given me an Oscar. Just make something up... GL...

I did a mixed sorta thing. I arrived on time, took part in the socializing and games and such, and even brought a great gift...THEN, part way THROUGH the gift opening portion of the show - I made my excuses and left. I used my DH as my "out" that we had to grab something for him etcl...etc...etc.. and that worked great.

Those who knew my struggle understood....and those who didn't just thought I had a last minute unplanned emergency come up. I still looked like a great friend for being supportive, showing up, etc....but got to spare myself the HOURS of watching baby crap float by my face and having to hold back tears.

Think of it as the grown-up married version of having a friend call you at a pre-appointment time to give you and 'out' if you are on a bad date! :-)

I too have to deal w/my SIL shower in a few months. She is not married, only 19 and somehow "accidentally" got pregnant. ITs a very hard situation and my family and DH's family know that we have been going through IF treatments and how hard this situation is on us....now DH's family is definitley not very supportive, but thats something that will never change, its gone on for 2 years already. Anyway, my advice to you is to do what you want. If you feel like you need to leave or that you can't even go...then don't. I'll probably go to my SIL's shower but won't stay for the opening of the gifts and I'll just sneak out so as to not make a scene. I know how hard it is...but in this situation I've realized you need to do what is right for you.

I too have to deal w/my SIL shower in a few months. She is not married, only 19 and somehow "accidentally" got pregnant. ITs a very hard situation and my family and DH's family know that we have been going through IF treatments and how hard this situation is on us....now DH's family is definitley not very supportive, but thats something that will never change, its gone on for 2 years already. Anyway, my advice to you is to do what you want. If you feel like you need to leave or that you can't even go...then don't. I'll probably go to my SIL's shower but won't stay for the opening of the gifts and I'll just sneak out so as to not make a scene. I know how hard it is...but in this situation I've realized you need to do what is right for you.

Last baby shower I just lied. Told my step mom that I had to be out of town and dropped off a card with a gift card for her to bring.

I've had to go to TWO of my sisters showers and they suck! But the thing that helped me is basically what samiam said. Be too busy to notice that other things are going on, ie. opening presents. Make sure that there are enough plates still out, cups are filled, refreshments are still full. Tables are decorated and then maybe if you find a dull moment that you have to sit there, talk to a friend or a family member who is there and occupy your time talking to them while the presents are being opened. Then when it's over, start cleaning and don't think about it. It helped me a TON! Good luck!