Well, we had our first IUI and and Friday we were crushed to learn it didn't work. Even our nurse was dumbfounded and saddened- everything looked good on both ends- hubby even gave his "guys" a pep talk (LOL). This comes after not only three and a half years of TTC, but also an ectopic (that almost killed me and has me rockin' out with one tube and one ovary for the rest of my life) and a miscarriage. Not to mention, we originally dropped $$$ on IVF only to have to convert the cycle to the IUI mentioned above (dominant follie). I have resolved that I simply do not have the emotional fortitude and I definitely do not have the $$$ like others do to try this road umpteen times. We are taking a step back...not calling it quits, per say, but taking time to focus on US. Part of telling the nurse we would like to decline a second cycle was hard, but with it came so much peace! I think somewhere along the way we lost that part of our marriage. Sex became a chore; all I thought about was if that was going to be the time we finally got a baby out of it....I am tired of this consuming my life. I refuse to be defined by infertility, whether we ever end up having children or not. Not to mention, I am sure my husband is totally over the roller-coaster of emotions. He holds it together so well, but I know he does so because he feels like he needs to on my behalf. I wish he would share his emotions with me, but I am not going to force it out of him- all I can do is pray. As Christians we are not defined by our infertility issues (which are all thanks to me, BTW)...I cannot let this continue to bog me down, and my advice to all you ladies who are going through the same thing is to not let it define you either. My advice is to still do what you feel is necessary, but learn to let this bring you and your significant other closer. Learn to still enjoy life without being obsessed over a baby. Trust me- I wish I had taken my own advice years ago, because even though plenty of other things have gone one (good and not so good), all I can look back on is how much the "need" for a family ruled my life. Best wishes to all and God bless.