Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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everben81 08/29/2017

Going through this process has been exhausting for me. We tried to do everything the "right" way. Got married, bought a house, waited until we felt ready for a baby (not that that even exists). We went off bc and thought it would just happen. It didn't. We waited a year under my obgyn's guidance. Every month was harder than the one before. People think they know everything. Relax! It will happen when you're not trying! Get drunk! Lol. Still didn't happen. Now, we are 35 and it's an emergency that we start all of a sudden! Now, we get treated like we are too old. Testing has shown that I do not have any fertility issues. My husband on the other hand has low testosterone, low count, low motility.

My husband is a sensitive soul already so it being "his fault" is killing him. (His words, not mine.)

So, we begin him on a ton of meds. Oh, and did I mention that we are both overweight? We can only do IVF if I lose 44lbs. So I lost 50 lbs since 1/2/17. We have jumped through every hoop they threw at us.

We are about to do an oocyte retrieval on Friday. My husband has been giving me daily injections of IVF drugs.

I feel like I'm constantly holding back my own sadness and frustration because I don't want to hurt my husband more. I have been poked, prodded, tested, shamed and humiliated during this process. None of that from my husband but l can't express myself without feeling like I'm hurting him. He has jokingly said he would understand if I would leave him because it's his fault. He gave me my shot the other night and said, "at least I can inject you with something to help get you pregnant". I feel like I can barely manage my own feelings let alone his.

Has anyone else had to deal with their spouse's emotions like this?

KHM72878 08/30/2017

Yyyyyeeeeeeesssssss..... it's so hard. I'm 39, the hubs is 47- so I understand the whole rush thing. Not only that, but I get stink eye from people that think it's not right for us to have a child at this age. I waited for the right one to come along (and like you, did everything right) and now I'm dealing with all of this. It's unbearable. I'm sorry you are going through this. I understand. My heart aches for you.

everben81 08/30/2017

Thank you! I seriously can't stand to hear one more time that it will happen naturally if I relax or if I lose weight, it will just happen. I also want to go off the deepend when I hear of an abused baby or parents overdosing with their kids around! So frustrating!

Blossom 08/30/2017

I feel you but for us it was me who had some issues. So I know how your husband feels. I rember feeling broken, detective, and saying to my husband I would understand if he wants to find a woman who can give him babies. This hurt him very much to see my pain and to have me say things like that because he loved me and didn't see me as broken. It can be hard to accept your issues especially when yuou feel like you should be able to reproduce because that's what your made to do. But you have to talk about it, you have to let them know your a team and you are not going anywhere and this so dose not change your feelings for them or about them in any way. It can take time. Don't let other people judge you or make you feel bad. I am 41 and going through my first treatment to conceive. I say baby dust to you both and try not to let it hurt your love for each other. Try and have date night's and some fun together it helps with dealing with all this stress and the dam hormones lol

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