Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
I went through my first round of IVF in November of last year. My husband and I have been TTC for about 2 years now. I found out I have PCOS and can’t conceive on my own. We weren’t candidates for IUI because my husband has some hurdles of his own.
Fortunately, we have excellent insurance, so we are able to explore the option of IVF.
On Thanksgiving last year I had my retrieval and I was not prepared for the pain I endured afterwards, but like we all do, I got through it.
Due to the fact that I have PCOS, I am at risk for hyperstimulation - a condition that can cause torsion of the ovaries and can only be corrected via surgery - my doctor suggested a FET. We ended up freezing 4 embryos.
In order to do the frozen embryo transfer I had to wait for one full cycle and then when my next period started I could start the progesterone, estradiol, and anabiotics. Unfortunately I had to wait until after the first of the year because the lab was closed in December.
In January I had to see if my period came on its own (I knew it wouldn’t) and when it didn’t, I started a 10 day cycle of Provera to bring on a period. Once that happened, I started my estradiol. Then on February 19 I went in for a lining check, everything looked good there so they scheduled my transfer for February 26.
The two week wait was one of the hardest things ever had to do because I was constantly looking up symptoms thinking maybe I might be pregnant. People around me were telling me that they thought I maybe pregnant which made it even harder.
In the evening on Thursday 3/8 got a letter from my fertility clinic stating that there was a temperature fluctuation in the cryopreservation tanks where embryos are stored. Got a special number to call to get more information so I called. The woman honey verify my medical information and dates of my retrieval and transfer and then had me set up a phone consultation with my doctor. I scheduled it for 915 next day.
On Friday, 3/9 I went in at 8:30 for my hCG blood test to see if I was pregnant. At 9:45 I got a call from my doctor telling me that the test was negative and that my 3 frozen embryos were not viable. The hospital is attempting to rectify the situation by allowing patient to go through a new cycle free of charge, which is nice, but I feel like everything I have been through the passed several months was for nothing.
I am at a loss and I don’t know what to do. I am trying to stay positive, but this is so devastating.
I will go through a new cycle because giving up is not an option, I’m just so heartbroken.
I am grateful that I have another chance, I just have some healing to do emotionally.
We are talking with a lawyer to figure out whether or not we want to take action. I’m just so beside myself.
I'm so so so sorry to hear that this happened to you. I shuddered when I heard the news report, thinking about how many families were impacted. I couldn't agree more that the concession of a free cycle isn't at all equal to the time you've lost and the stress you've gone through. I've honestly found waiting to be the hardest part of this whole process.. more than surgeries, procedures, literally anything else. You are not alone in that feeling! I hope the class action lawsuit gets some justice, even though nothing would really make this situation better.
I recently went through a devastating event in the same months I was finding out about my own infertility. The only thing that got me through the many waves of grief was being really honest with others about how I felt and how much of a mess I was.. and accepting help (which I'm not great at normally). I was surprised how open and loving people were when I was in need. I thought I'd be judged or looked down at, but it was quite the opposite reaction.
I also took some good advice to set little benchmarks to look forward to. Nothing huge, but like making plans a few weeks or month out so I could count down to it when getting overwhelmed. Or even treating myself to something silly like a favorite food or a walk in the park on the way home on a particularly hard day.
Keep talking to us. This is what we are all here for!
Love and support <3
Natalie
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I think that is what I’m so hung up on, is the stress and all the ups and downs of the stimulation process.
I know with support and positivity, I can do it again... it’s just the principle... I may not have ever needed to.
I like your advice about making plans, I will try that, to give myself something to look forward to.
I’ve also started writing in a journal.
I was thinking about writing a book about my experience... maybe one day.
If I am being 100% honest, I’m a little scared to go through the stimulation process again.
The last time the doctor retrieved 25 eggs, my ovaries were so swollen and sore, I had to take 5 days off of work. I typically have a high paid tolerance, and if I wasn’t driving around the city all day for my job, I might have been able to go back earlier, but the constant jostling of the car made it really painful.
I am just take it one day at a time, days I don’t cry is progress.
Thank you again.
All totally understandable, reasonable, and justified. Half of what gets me through any of this is the thought of it being over.. so having to start over is bullshit (can we swear on here?) and you should be rightfully angry.
I love that you are writing. I was thinking of writing on here as well. Just as an activity to get my anxiety out. I always tell students to do it.. so uhmm maybe I should occasionally take my own advice. :D You should definitely record things so that you remember them too even just for the court case. They may want to know what impact it had on you and having dates and details will be helpful.
I'm wondering if your doctor will make any med adjustments knowing how you responded last time? If you were willing to risk not making as many eggs- maybe they will lessen the dosage and make you more comfortable.
Hope today was even a little bit more bearable.
<3
Natalie
Thank you so much. I’m still in shock myself. It hasn’t been easy.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, but I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around what possible reason there could have been for this disaster.
Thank you for your kind words, prayers and hugs are much needed and appreciated ♡♡
You are absolutely right. It is total bullshit. I’m angry, sad, overwhelmed, and just all around pissed.
That’s a good point about having documentation for the case. I didn’t think about that, lol not sure why...
Writing has been a good release for me. And being on here has helped a lot too, being able to talk to someone who understands is more meaningful than I anticipated.
I’m really hoping they make adjustments. My body didn’t respond at first, I was on stims for 2 weeks, retrieval was on day 15! That was intense.
Thank you so much.
How is your journey going?
It's hard to think through everything when you are living it! That's for sure! Oooo as for us- we are starting stims on Friday and your day 15 retrieval is scaring me.. haha. I'm sure I'll be okay- or I won't and that will eventually be okay too. The only good thing about going through something really incredibly difficult is that you know your strength afterward.
Thinking of you!
Natalie
Something that got me through this whole journey was deciding to cherish every pin prick, every ultrasound, every blood draw, every everything because I feel blessed that I am able to afford this opportunity. A lot of women are in our position and aren’t able to take this avenue. That was my mantra. I wanted to enjoy the process of making a baby with the help of science. It’s so amazing what they are able to do.
You can do this. Stay strong ♥️
Also, my body wasn’t responding to the meds very well at first. They didn’t know how I would respond so they started me slow. Fingers crossed that you respond better than I did.
I’m so excited for you to start this chapter.
I’ll be here if you need me.
Thinking of you also!
Cassie