Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to read/reply. I decided to give this a try since I'm felling alone, depressed and heartbroken. Our journey began three years ago, we've done 5 failed IUI's and decided IVF was the last opotion. We had a successful IVF with 2 embryos transferred in November. I can't describe the excitement, we were planning on announcing on Christmas day at 5 weeks. We took pregnacy pics and had 3 detailed announcements for our divided families. We couldn't stop smiling. Our first ultrasound was 3 days before Christmas. At this appointment we were told that I had a chemical pregnancy. We had to sit in a room for at least 30 minutes waiting for the Doctor. We were so devastated, never imagined this as a possibility. I have been heart broken since.
The holidays were terrible and I had to tell my mother the sad news instead of surprising her with what we thought was our miracle. I had to wait two periods before we could continue with transferring our last and only 1 strong embryo. It's finally time, we will transfer on Sunday.
I need this to work, for my sanity. I like others, have distanced myself from alot of activities and social media for sure. I have my husband, and a friend that went through the same as me, she got pregnant in November also and is still going strong. Which is hard, since we thought we were going to enjoy the gift of pregnancy together. I have not been able to even see her since, I'm afraid that I will show my unhappiness for myself and should be happy for her...
What I didn't mention was a big reason I'm felling so alone and sad. When we miscarried, my husband did tell his Dad. And told his Dad to tell his Mom. (He talks to his Dad daily, never talks to his Mom) What people don't understand is that it's extremely difficult to talk about and for me I get emotional almost every time it comes up.
So my issue is that his mother never reached out to us at all. We were so upset Christmas day watching 10 kids open gifts, while we should have been sharing our wonderful news. I tried to cope but I'm so confused as to why his mother never reached out to us knowing what we were going through and having gone through it herself. Side note, we are not close and I do understand that she may possibly feel hurt that he or I didn't tell her ourselves? I just can't figure it out and hubby hates confrontation so he won't ask and it'd be awkward to bring up since we only talk at events-briefly. She has 8 kids but sometimes I feel as if she only remembers 7 and forgets about my husband. I need to come to terms on my own or have a convo with her I guess are the only 2 options. I'm tired of being an outsider and honestly just want support. It makes it worse knowing she knows and hasn't said A Thing! I'm sure it could have been a bonding moment or chance to clear the air.
Please pray for our final embryo to stick and stay strong! ❤
I can completely relate to the mother in law situation! Although its a little different in my case. my hubs is SUPER close to both of his parents, which is both a blessing and curse. I love that hes a family guy but they are in all of our business. we were over his parents house last weekend and they blatantly asked "where were at" as far as babies went. It wasnt "hey guys, is everything ok?, wanna talk about it?" it was more of an interrogation. or atleast thats how it felt to me. When we told them that we'd been trying for 2 years with no luck and the doctors think IVF is the way to go my mother in laws remark was "...dont you know that you can have multiples doing that??! you really should think about it" and she certainly didnt mean it in a positive way. like we chose this road to travel down... jeez.
I really believe that people dont think before they speak, or dont speak. Immediately after that conversation I shut down. This is exactly why I dont like talking about it.
Maybe your MIL is hurt that your hubs didnt say anything to her, or maybe she doesnt want to upset you by saying anything? I know mine would probably say something that I didnt want to hear so I'd rather her not say anything at all. Families are hard, especially when you arent close.
I'll be praying for your embryo on Sunday! Good luck!
I'm sorry the your MIL reacted so inconsiderate. It's very hurtful! Maybe nothing said is better who knows. I guess all we can do is try and stay positive the best we can.
Maybe your MIL didn't know what to say. You said she went through it herself - maybe someone said something thoughtless to her, and she wishes everyone would have just left her alone with her grief. People handle grief all different ways.
It sounds like you needed support - I'm sorry you didn't receive it. Families are so hard. Hopefully you'll find some support here.