Hi! I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I was diagnosed with PCOS about 7-8 months ago and have been doing fertility treatments for 6 months. I totally understand not wanting to commit to something on a date that could interfere with treatment. Depending on what you are doing, sometimes things are unpredictable - you HAVE to go in for ultrasounds on certain cycle days or based on ovulation test results. Can you decide about the party closer to when you have a sense of what your treatment schedule might be? And for now say you'd like to go if you can but your plans might have to change? Or is payment required now?

One thing I do think is important is not putting your whole life on hold to try to get pregnant because it may not happen around the timing you hope, and then you might have even more regrets. I know nothing for me has happened as I hoped/expected. Although everyone is different, I think it's best and healthiest to try to go about your life as normally as possible (recognizing that's not always possible). Obviously, getting pregnant is a priority, but you don't want to start isolating yourself from people in your life because of it, because you may need their support later (although maybe your sister isn't the one who you want to talk to about this...). In any event, if you do get pregnant, why not go out and celebrate at the hen do? I'm sure you could have a lot of fun without drinking. I've had to "act" pregnant for half of every month of the past 6 months while conception was possible, based on my doctor's instructions, and I would have missed out on a lot if I avoided attending any events with drinking. Explaining why you're not drinking could be slightly awkward, though in my experience, most people don't ask because they don't want to raise something sensitive. Or if they do, I just say that I can't drink with some medication I'm taking right now.

If you truly don't want to go to the party, then don't. Do what's best for you. If you aren't really close to the bride or the others going, then maybe you will have no regrets about missing it at all. But like I said, I've had plenty of expectations myself about when I'd get pregnant and what treatment was going to be like, and I've been wrong, so I wouldn't want to miss out on something solely because I think it might conflict without actually knowing it would. Would be nice if your sister allowed some flexibility in committing to attend or not. Good luck!

Hi,
I too have PCOS - apparently have had it for a while, but was only diagnosed with it like 2 years ago. I had 2 IUI's that didn't work, and we are about to hopefully try IVF at the end of this month. I think this entire process is stressful enough, and not having supportive people around you, makes it even harder. Not only is this hard on your body, but emotionally - seeing other people who have kids, seeing other women who are pregnant.. and people who haven't experienced this truly don't understand. While i certainly can't speak for your sister, maybe she doesn't understand what "a helping hand to conceive" means. Maybe she doesn't know or understand the time and emotional toll "that helping hand" involves. Maybe she is in denial that you have to go thru this so she wants to pretend that it's not a big deal, so she's like "whatever, it's really no big deal, you can still come to this party".
If she hasn't spoken to you since the conversation of you saying no to attending HER friend's party, then maybe there is something else going on and only if she's ready to talk about it, can anything really be resolved. If you really have no desire to attend this function, then why should you go? Would it be as big a deal to her if you weren't trying to have a baby? You can always give a gift and a nice card apologizing for you not being able to attend. (You will see on here, lots of us have had to do that with Baby showers - it's just to hard for us to be around people who are expecting or who have recently had a baby so we give our regrets for not being able to join.) Not everyone has to know the reason why you aren't attending something.
Anyway, hopefully you get it all worked out soon - good luck!

I'm not sure what else I can because the others have nailed it. No one understands unless they have been through it themselves. It is hard emotionally and can lead to depression. People will not understand about how time dependent treatments are and you basically have to drop everything when it is time.
I was going to ask what a hen do is, but then I googled it. I learned something new. Sending good thoughts and prayers.

I don't know what a hen is either lol
We aren't going to our nephews birthday party next month because I will be mid cycle. Its so hard. I agree that you can't put your life on hold... yet I did for months. My treatment was my everything. My saving grace and my sanity. Its a personal choice. Do what feels right to you. If you need to commit to your treatment and the dream of your pregnancy, than do it.

Wow all of these responses were very helpful thanks so much! Sorry I perhaps should have said a hen party is the same as a bachelorette!

I think I need to work on finding my balance, but I definitely don't think this particular occasion would upset me too much to miss it.

I spoke to my sister today, she apologised for her response and it's pretty clear she just doesn't understand. I hope she never has to understand this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone!

It's so nice to hear from people going through similar things :) xx

Everyone has nailed it on the head just talk to your sister and explain family understand more cause they see what your going through and like everyone says you can't put life on hold