Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Hi
This is my first post here , i felt like i need to talk to someone out there and share my frustration
I am married for 2 years , ttc from 1 year but no success , after 6 month ttc me and my husband did some tests, we found out he has low sperm count (4million/ml at his highest ) and i have mild pcod with almost regular cycles ..it was a shock for my husband as according to my dr my case is very mild as long as ovulation is happening ... recently we decided to head to ivf clinic and we are scheduled next month for our first cycle.. all through this i am trying to hold my feelings cuz i dont want to hurt my husband , i am not willing to lose him for this reason or any other reason whatsoever.
Two months ago i began to develop subserosal fibroids ... my doctor is not concerned but the whole process is draining me .. i read alot about how 1st ivf cycle almost doesnot succeed
also this cycle i had every pregnancy symptom anyone could possibly have , yet i ended up in horrible pain and period started.. at this point i am feeling i am falling apart , i feel the whole situation is too hard for me , my husband is the best person in the world and i dont want to make him feel i am sad so i lock these feelings inside but right now i feel overwhelmed and i really had to talk to someone.
I really need any support i can get
HELP please !
I hit the lowest point in my struggle in June. It pretty much lasted the whole month. I was crying every day for 2.5 weeks. I wasn't sure why I couldn't find strength like I was usually able to. I eventually found strength...some days are better than others still. I am religious so I prayed a little more and found support with my family and friends. I also watched a lot comedies, those help distract me.
I know it feels so hard and you wish somebody could give you the magical answer to make the pain go away....or least not hurt so much. I hope you find love and support in others (like us here) and find ways to distract yourself.
In regards to your husband, if you ever feel comfortable - I think you should tell him how you are feeling. I think it is important for our husbands to know just how much this takes a toll on us. I talk to my husband, but I also make sure I get to a point and stop. I don't want to overwhelm him with what I am telling him. It’s not like I am holding back in an unhealthy way, one day I paid attention to how much I talk about it and it was A LOT. Even I was like “Girlfriend, you are obsessed. Try to not talk and think about it as much!” My husband reminds me he is also going through the struggle and we are team. He really is my “ride or die”. :)
Sending you good vibes and strength!
I am not feeling resentment at all towards my husband , what makes me feel bad is the total opposite of resentment. I love him so much that i just wanna see him happy with our baby .
When we first started ttc , i wasnot the one suggesting it , he wanted it so badly so i agreed because i saw this is something that will make him happy , and then i found out it will make me so happy too to have a baby with him.
When we knew about his low count , he was devastated to the point that made him awfully quiet about it . He never wanted to talk and started treatment right away.
That made me very cautious about the whole subject with him , so i lock up me frustration every month when i see AF coming because i dont want to hurt him even more . And i try to make him feel that i dont care that much about it .
This month i did everything i can to make it happen , i did bbt chart, i tracked every symptom , i prayed and drank holy water for it ( i am religious too) , it was looking good this month but still AF came , i felt like I am out of energy and options.
We also live 1600 miles away from my family and friends so it is hard to talk to someone about it specially that someone closer to you can still be very insensitive about it.
I am even more scared of what impact it have on him if our first ivf cycle didnt go as planned .
I can be overthinking and overprotective at times , but it is really not helping me to have all this feelings locked up inside, that is why i searched for this support group.
It is good to let it all out .
I think the best thing someone said that resonated with me was that this is not a you or me situation, this isnt just on your husband, and it isn't just on you. It's a we situation. Not only do you have to deal with infertility struggles, you have to deal with learning how to communicate with your partner in a whole new way you never imagined. I get it. It took me a long time to truly open up and make my husband understand that my emotions were not to do with him, but that this is hard and my heart hurts, and if I don't have awful days, then I can't get better to where i feel good. I know it sucked for him to see me so sad, and i know he hurts, too. I remind him all the time I don't need a fix, we just need a good bear hug sometimes!
It can feel very lonely some days battling through this, so coming here is a great option, but talking to the person who is your # 1 support will help you cope through all this, too.