That makes me laugh so loudly.

Just last week, I had to make up a lie that my husband had a work picnic that we had previously RSVP'd to.

Needless to say, I didn't go to the shower. I felt bad about it, but sometimes its OK to be selfish. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself.

Its really hard to be there. Your job now is to stay calm and relaxed. You need to do what you need to do.

But.... you are by no means alone.

YES! I told a white lie to get out of a baby shower and I'm so glad I did. We were invited to a party out of town the same day. I told the baby shower people I had to go to that party but in reality we didn't go. I know I could have never handled it because it was one of those showers where they told everyone to bring their kids and all my friends have infants. It would have been complete torture for me. Do not feel bad about not going or fibbing a little to give yourself an excuse. I've forced myself to go to several showers and this one I decided I couldn't handle it and it was such a good decision.

I did... more than once. I couldn't take it at the end. I was heartbroken everytime someone else announced their pregnancy. I was sick, I was working, I had another shower... you name it I used it.

Plenty of times!!! Since I am a nurse I had the perfect excuse that I was working. I also lied to get out of a christening and a 1 year bd party. Remember you are NOT being selfish just being self protective. Knowing your limits! Taking care of yourself. I may have felt bad for a moment or two but I would send a gift and say I was working. And Never had regrets.

Yes I have!

Absolutely! Kristiebear, you do what you gotta do to get through all of this and DON"T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT! Us women are programed to feel bad if we don't live up to other's expectations. I have skipped out on things because if I attend them I feel depressed for days. I often feel bad for not going to family things, especially because my young nephews, but my husband said to me one day when I was beating myself up about going or not going to a family function, " Don't worry about it, you'll make up for it one day. We will have plenty of time to go to family gatherings. Right now, let's just worry about us."

Absolutely!! Baby showers can be pure torture... do not feel bad AT ALL about doing that. You need to keep yourself sane and do what's best for YOU.... you come first.

omg YES I have!!!! I haven't been to a baby shower in about 2 years. Each time I get an invite, I simply have "other plans" and can't make it. It saves me some heartache and I do something nice for myself instead, like a pedicure, etc. No one knows what this journey is like unless they've been on it...we need to be good to ourselves. ((Hugs))

Yes, I did and it was for a family member (a cousin). I just couldn't deal w/ all of the ooo'ing and aaaah'ing. Plus she was married after me. And when I got the birth announcement in the mail (I knew what it was) I ripped it up w/out even opening it. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for my cousin but couldn't deal w/ everything while I'm over here giving myself 3 injections a day. You have to do what you feel is best for you!

I have made up many excuses to not go where my SIL is..she is pregnant, after being on the pill and not wanting to be pregnant!!! I don't like her as a person, she is selfish and has not acknowledged the hell I have been through these last 2 years. I am forced to see her as the whole family lives in this small town and always doing something. Now, I get an email saying something about her baby shower on the 9th, which she is not due till Nov 30th, so the 9th of what month I wonder. This is one I can not get out of, and I am already dreading it!!! I have said that I can not subject myself to anything that makes me fee bad. I just wish I didn't have to go!!!

You Ladies are my Hero's...... I dont know what I would do without you!!!!!!!!!!

I am soooo glad to read this. For years, I've turned down invites to baby showers. If they are for close friends, they usually understand anyway, at least I think they do. If anything, I'll get them a gift but my presence at one of those is just too hard. I would just be a slobbery mess anyway and who wants that at a celebration. As selfish as that sounds, sometimes you just cannot control your emotions. So, don't worry so much, you are not alone on this:)

Baby Showers are the worst when you are not ready!!! I went to one and left after 10 minutes. Just couldn't take it. Lie, do whatever you have to do to get out of going if you are not ready. There is nothing wrong with it and don't feel bad about it. I agree with Patiently..it is your job to take care of yourself.

Yes!! I think just about everyone on here with any sort of IF issue has lied at least once to avoid a huge emotional breakdown!!! I just said I couldn't go because my parents were coming in town and our house needed working on before they arrived...

I have officially boycotted them altogether! I will send a gift and I will be happy for the mom to be from home, don't want any part of the shower. You're not alone..