Oh, I wish I could give you some magic answer. IF can be so stressful and affect many relationships you have, especially with your spouse. And top top it off, men and women have such varying views (and therefore deal with it in different ways) about wanting children.

What you are feeling is normal. Give yourslef time to feel this way and maybe an outlet to get it out (write in a journal, etc...). Maybe when you are feeling better you can talk to your husband about how he is feeling. Hang in there....

sometimes husband just dont get it period...I have politely told my husband plenty of times what not to say to me while going through IF. When it gets overwhelming for me I simply go pray and find something that I enjoy doing. They simply dont deal with things they way we do.. What you feel is normal, but try not to stay in the bad place, it eats at you, I know because we all have been there! =)

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. I've had a past couple of days too. Anyway, I am the kind of person to take things into my own hands. So if I were in yoru shoes, I would probably say that if worse comes to worse, I'm going to take out a loan for the cost of adoption and if you don't want to support me you can leave.

I don't know if this is the best advise to give and a certified psychologist would probably call me crazy, but that's my two cents. Sometimes you have to take a risk, and if you run into financial troubles maybe he will choose to sell the boat.

wow im feeling you girl.i was a bit more dramatic and left him! to be a mother with a doner,he never got it,never understood my pain.how could he! he was not infertile,he was already a daddy which actully was an inconvenience to him,my ivf was on and off hold for 13 years because of him,now im finally getting my chance of treatment,god im not saying leave him im saying i so understand,and just saying burn his boat girl burn it! do an insurance job on it lol im joking i wish you lots of luck stay strong you have the strengh to get through this x

I am sooooo sorry! I would feel the same RE: a *****CHILD***** being more important than a boat.....you make an excellent point that---upon getting married you included dream of children....not dreams of a boat.....i totally understand that your husband loves his boat (my husbands thing is soccer....he LOVES it) but if you cant afford both....the boat should be less priority than a family. If your in laws are not sensitive to your IF (i'm not sure if they are or are not) then you may need to distance yourself. I'm sorry....just hang on b/c nothing ever stays the same.....things have to change sooner or later---and for the better.

I know what you mean. Rough weekend for us. Finances not great since we just put down $$ for our first IVF cycle a few weeks ago, and he doesn't totally get why I need to do this. He's okay if we just stop all of this. I feel like, he'll finance some granite countertops without blinking, but he doesn't want to finance another child?? It makes no sense to me.

I would rather have a child over material items anyway, but he thinks all the procedures are eating up our "fun money". We solved it like we always do, but obviously I'm still bothered b/c I can't sleep! I feel for you! A boat, countertops, these things just don't matter!!!!!! Ahhh, men! :)

Oh sweetie! I wish I could give you a great big hug!!!
My DH is like that as well, its like he at times it seems like he just doesnt want a family at all. It can be really hard for us... the only time I actually saw him get worried and a little depresses was after our last visit to the doc and he got told that he have some problems (aside form mine) which will make our having a baby really really hard...

All I can say is hang in there, me are such strange creatures....

I wish I had magic cure-all words for you but alas I just don't. I'm glad you can come on here and vent, rant, rage, when you need too....that's what we are all here for after all!

I have been fortunate so far that my DH and I are rock solid in our baby-quest. We've been trying nearly 2 years with miscarriage in the middle of all that on top of pills, shots, IUI's, surgeries, etc.... but we've always been a team together. I've met other couples who have a rough time of it though. I think Men tend to 'cave' when they can't cope. Either they cave to a hobby (like boats or granite counter tops or whatever) or they cave toa place (like their buddies house or their garage etc). It's hard to find a balance sometimes when dealing with IF and Men....when in doubt....often just 'cave up'. I don't know if this is an option for you, but perhaps just a few counseling sessions otgether would help you both learn to cope.....or at the very least, try to make friends with a couple who is ALSO childless. That would give you both someone to interact with that didn't bring the added pain of "wow, there's another one with kids and we don't have any yet".

Again....I'm sorry your struggling and I hope you and your DH work through this rough patch. Feel free to rant/vent/rage/yell/cry/scream/laugh/whatever on this board though. We've ALL been there at some point or another.