I'm so sorry to hear how you're feeling. Moreover I know how it feels. I've been through the same thing. And just like you was looking for all possible ways to make this pain a bit easier. And just like in your case, some of my friends, knowing what we're going through were announcing their pg or pg plans so easily..This really got on me. Seems I couldn't be happy for sb, even though it was such a perfect piece of news..I felt then I was the worst person in the world. It took me long time to realize I was OK judging from what my dh and I were going through..
We've got 4 failed OE IVF rounds under the belt. All ended in mc. Finally made the decision to try out surrogacy..

Hi- I’m so sorry you are going through this. I understand how you feel because I had infertility treatments before I got pregnant. There were times that I didn’t want to attend baby showers. The frustration of expecting a positive result every cycle is overwhelming.

My husband was my constant encouragement every time I would cry from someone’s comment about having a baby. I remember him telling me, “God will give us a baby in His perfect time”. In the 6th year of our marriage, we had our only child.

Praying for you that you will have your heart’s desire to have a child. Thank you for sharing. Feel free to vent anytime. We are here for you.

I'm there with you, only it's secondary infertility for me. Comments I hear the most are "well, at least you have one baby", "you know you can get pregnant so just relax" and "she's nearly 7 now, the gap is getting too big anyway" comments.
I feel like everyone I know is pregnant or has just had a baby. I'm happy for them but where the f*** is my baby??? And PLEASE just STOP inviting me to your baby showers! I had a mc last year and it still hurts! Even when you think you moved on it hurts... I think boards need posts like this one! We all sometimes really need to vent with people who can hear and understand these vents!

Vent away, don't hold it inside. I feel you so much on how you’re getting on your nerves with the same complaints and thoughts over and over again. But you are not getting on our nerves. That is what these forums are really for. You are not alone! This whole thing is such a roller coaster. And it's only made worse (at least I feel) by not letting these feelings out. I’m listening! I 100% can relate! I understand your vent. It totally sucks! It's NOT fair! I can't understand WHY this is happening to us! You're so right about how people just don't get it or feel so uncomfortable or can't handle how devastating ttc is for us. It just sucks. I don't know how else to say it.

For me, I don't think it will ever be possible to 'explain' to those close to me how much pain this causes my DH and me... How utterly life-changing and devastating each experience in ttc has become. This is of course just the way I feel about infertility personally. I feel it's still very taboo. Maybe that's because I am very private. I can barely talk about it to others anyway! This support group is a lifeline some of the time! You can vent away, to people who 'get it' and don't judge you for feeling angry, sad, depressed, bitter, jealous, and just in so much damn pain!

Nobody can understand how hard it is unless they've been through it. I would have had absolutely no idea a couple of years ago. I could not possibly, in my wildest dreams (nightmares?) have imagined the pain. Up until recently, I'd never really experienced true bitterness and jealousy before… That’s probably because life, until recently, has always been fair to me. Now, after 2 failed rounds of ivf, I feel truly bitter. I appreciate your post. It makes me feel less alone to read someone else's words expressing my feelings exactly.

They, who don’t struggle, (even the most lovely and well-intentioned people) make comments that blow you away with their complete lack of comprehension of the situation. Some of my personal favorites are 'Well at least it's not cancer'. Or this one, 'It's a shame it's so hard for you but in the meantime at least it's fun trying, isn't it?'. Yeah, so much fun! (nope, it's not). And my fav one, 'Just try to remember you don't need a baby to complete you or to make you whole'. Ummm... Thanks?? People are so stupid. Those comments don't make me feel better at all!!!

I can't say what a relief it is to read all your replies and to know that there is one place at least where people really do get it, because they are going through it themselves.
I'm so glad it's not just me that feels that in general. People's responses are pretty much 99% inappropriate and just make you feel worse.
The most recent ones I've had have been people trotting out the same old lines. Again this seems like a cliche. And you might not believe that people still say this, but they do. Just yesterday I got "Just relax & don't let it get to you". This one I get so often, "Don't take it too seriously, and go on a holiday"... It was like they were reading from a book called '101 things not to say to someone going through infertility'. I also felt awkward about well-meaning family members who were 'helpfully' trying to think of some things I could do to 'distract' myself. "Um, you could join a book club?" I don't want to even comment on this one... Problem is that I am always so polite. I never let people see how offensive they are being. I always walk away thinking, God I should have said something! But I never do. Ladies, again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your empathy.xx

It can be exhausting and overwhelming sometimes. If you have survived it till know then you’ve got what it takes sail through it. Stay positive and hopeful. People may not understand but may mean well when they talk. On personal level I realized that having some information about my condition was good to manage things better...I’m so sorry you've found yourself here. But the good news is that you’ve got options! My advice in your case is that you ask your doctor for further tests to check for the cause behind this. He/she is the one who best knows what your case. I myself have been through 4 IVF rounds – all ended in mc. So we turned to surrogacy abroad as our last resourt. I wish this path wasn't that painful and all demanding. Yet I'll add. The oddest thing I've happened to hear from 'supporting' me people was: 'I have three LOs, you may take one of them..' This was heartbreaking..How can people be this shallow-minded?!! I wonder what would this lovely do if I did take one of her babies?!!

BeccaBecca - good luck with your treatment. A few friends of mine underwent IVF treatment in Gdansk Poland, and got pregnant. So, infertility treatment abroad is effective and affordable.