I think being afraid is part of it. There are a lot emotions involved in becoming a parent, and even more emotions when you have to have fertility treatments. Keep your head up. It will all be worth it in the end.

Yes, makes sense. I envision myself going through gates. Gate one: finish work, gate 2: surgery, gate 3: recovery, gate 4: waiting, gate 5 birth control, gate 6: IVF, gate 7: the scary gate, waiting and then potentially repeating the process. Gate 8: pregnancy, gate 9: the scariest gate of all: motherhood.

Being a mommy is not supposed to be this hard. The old saying fools rush in would be great right now!! Would be awesome if I could just rip the band aide (plaster), and get there already!!!

Hugs...

I didn't feel the exact feelings but I think everyone should be able to express their true feelings and be supported for it...that's what this website is for! The prospect of parenting is scary but from my perspective now as a mother to 8 month old twin boys (from IVF), it is scary in a great way.
The great news is that IVF does work for the majority of people. You have to have faith and be positive through the process, though. IVF is hard, pregnancy is hard, parenting is hard...but the positives outweight the negatives 100 times over. It's ok to complain about pregnancy, no sleep, etc. You fought the fight, you deserve any complaining you want! I hope by next August you will have some peace of mind with everything. You can do this...you can do it all! You'll be surprised by what you learn about yourself and your strength.

Thanks Zeldasayre, you made me cry, made me feel sad but hopeful, I hope one day I can be in your position.

I guess I just look at other mothers complaining and see how hard they have it and feel funny about fighting so hard to get that, I feel like I could never complain, never ask for help because I have spent so long wishing for exactly that!

I guess I just feellike I wouldnt have the right to be like a normal mother?? Its nice to hear you say I do but I think only people whove struggled with IF would feel like that.

I feel like everyone else would be like.........we've listened to you begging for this for so long, now youve got it....dont you ever moan

Dont get me wrong though,
I have no plans to moan! Just scared it will be really hard all the way along and I'll have noone to turn to, I'd feel too guilty

Please don't be afraid. I had 4 IVF, so feel free to ask me any questions. At the beginning I thought I will never able to do that, but you will be suprice how much your body and mind can endure. Never loose hope. You are a strong woman and you will be a great mother at the end of this journey. Big Hug.

Nedico and endowife I can so relate to what you are talking about with the fear and the gates. I learned about my super low fertility after losing a baby in the second trimester and having a horrible postpartum course with three hospital stays and three surgeries. So now while I want to get pregnant so bad at the same time I am terrified of what will be a very high risk pregnancy. I even daydream about doing surrogacy instead. It just seems overwhelming, but the gates / milestones really help break it down and like Zelda said I just have to have faith and give up control and trust in the process.

I also have Lupus, I remember when I first talked about trying for babies my specialist told me that I would have a high risk pregnancy, and with lupus I was at increased risk of miscarraige. He said I should expect to be under observation by numerous specialists when the time came.
I remember being gutted!!
Little did I know that this would be the least of my worries!!

Maybe this will help to explain why I am so scared of all the possible scenarios I will have to deal with.

But I am trying the one step at a time approach and constantly reminding myself that my only option is to do nothing!! Thats no option atall!

I think it is very natural for us all to have some fear.... each step in this process can have so many different outcomes..there is no set plot... We as strong women need to toughen up and realize that we were chosen to do this for a reason...Men could never handle it!!!! LOL thought I'd throw in a little humor to make you laugh!

Yes, it makes sense. All of it is scary! But, when the time is right, you will find that you have the strength to get through the fear. You've got some time to work through some of your fears and decide if now is the right time for you. DS can help with this, too. I've learned so much from being able to ask questions about whatever step I am at in the process and always get helpful answers and support. IVF doesn't work for everyone the first time, but most women do have success with it.

I understand how you are feeling. You are looking at the big picture- and you're right- it is frickin' scary at times!!! It's incredibly overwhelming!!! I remember thinking along the same lines as you- I couldn't even picture myself going through IVF and being a parent... But, as things got closer, my mind changed and I suspect yours will, too... When you are looking a year into the future and contemplating all that you have to do to get pregnant, as well as becoming a parent at the same time, your feelings are very much justified. But, when June or July comes, you may be nervous and a bit scared, but excitement will come into play. It's that excitement that will take over more and transform into your drive and desires. And in IVF, it's all one day at a time. You'll be so involved in your medications that before you know it, you'll be doing your egg retrieval. With that being said- IVF is hard. It's tough but I KNOW I'm a better mother from going through it (twice). I'm a worrier by nature- I think in long term goals and plan out things. I can relate with your feelings completely, but I will tell you this... Strangely, once I got pregnant, I didn't worry anymore. I think that I got all of my worrying out with the IVF :) I can honestly say, without a doubt, I completely ENJOYED my pregnancy more than I would without IVF. May not make sense, it actually doesn't make much sense to me, but I really enjoyed my pregnancy. IVF is a difficult experience, but I see myself as a somewhat superior mother because I had to go through IF and IVF- I worked incredibly hard for my baby, and I know I'm a better person and mother for it. And also- it is ALL WORTH IT. YOU WILL DO AWESOME!!!!!!