Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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Frustrated

starrcel
starrcel
I have been married for 4 years.My Husband has a 10 year old . We have been trying to get pregnant since abt 2008. I have tried Clomid ,metformin (I have PCOS) .But my husband refuses to get a sperm count or to try IVF stating the problem is mine so he doesn't have to do anything. I have tried talking but nothing seems to work.So I decided to give up trying but this has brought up feelings of hurt and resentment. I really don't know what to do.
alanabanana
alanabanana
I feel for you. My husband has a twelve year old from another marriage. But we have infertility. As men age especially after 40 their sperm count and quality can decrease. My husband has low sperm count and morphology. Perhaps there are some articles you an find online I show him this.
I am sorry he is being so insensitive. You have every right to feel hurt and resentful. IF is much harder for women than men and on top of it, when your husband has a child from another marriage they don't have the fear of never having children, the fear and pain that we as women carry. Have you been able to discuss this with him?
If you need someone to talk to I am here.
deleted_user
deleted_user
A lot can change in 10 years! He should definitely be tested! Would having him hear that from a doctor help? Good luck to you! Hang in there!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree also that a lot can change in 10 years. We tried for about 1 1/2 years thinking I had a problem then it turns out it was him. We did have a child, now we are trying for our second and his problem has gotten a lot worse over time. My husband is pretty bullheaded and even though he cringes when we talk about IF, I talk about it whenever I feel the need to and I remind him that I really need his support.
starrcel
starrcel
Thanks guys.I might try talking again in a bit but he is very stubborn.Our doctor did speak to him over a year ago abt being tested but to no avail.

I keep thinking that he already has a child that lives with us that I help take care of since is abt 4 but I don't have one of my own *sighs*.

Well hopefully with some prayers he can change his mine in 2012 lol.
mikalyn
mikalyn
praying for you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry. I would be hurt too ... hurt and angry.

It seems like many people are quick to blame the woman for infertility problems. I had a similar situation to jennyadkinrn. We spent at least a year trying, thinking that the problem was on my end ... turns out it's with my husband's sperm. Male factor infertility is on the rise, and as the others said, a lot can change in ten years.

It sounds cheesy, but our doctor said that the sperm and egg have to work together. She said she sees men with really poor sperm quality but whose partners get pregnant because they have spectacular eggs. Similarly, there are women who get pregnant despite having very poor quality eggs, because their partners have amazing sperm.

Marriage is a partnership. Couples have to work together. If I have a problem, then it's my husband's problem too, and vice versa. So in my mind, it doesn't matter that the "problem" is on my husband's end. This is our problem and we have to overcome it together.

I hope you and your husband will eventually be able to sort through this issue together, so that neither of you end up hurt or resentful. Good luck. I really feel for you ...