Well, if it is any consolation I agree with you that an abortion and IF are definitely not in the same category. I also don't think you should feel ashamed. I am so sorry you are having a hard time and wish there was something I could do for you. When I am down I pray for comfort. I will pray for you and I hope the best for you.

Mikalyn,

Sending big hugs, your post resonated so deeply with me that it brought tears to my eyes. I got another BFN yesterday and I also want to curl into a ball, then throw my self down a big hole!!. Out of all the yucky emotions that come along with infertility shame is the hardest one for me to deal with, especially when my cousins and friends seem to have babies by the dozens with the greatest of ease, while I continue to struggle. I hate feeling ashamed because my body doesnt work right, shame is the one emotion that really cuts deep, I don't know how to shake this one and it is so hard. I guess its a normal infertility emotion and take comfort in the fact that youre not the only one who feels it, sometimes that is all I have to get me through days like this, the fact that I am not alone. I am just so sorry that you have to feel these emotions too.

Over the past weekend a girlfriend of mine told me that she got another abortion and that is happened because she let her BC relapse again. Abortions are not the same as infertility!!! And to make it worse she said the one thing getting another abortion made her realize is that "she really wants kids". I was so angry I couldnt think of anything to say!! Then she says "I am so fertile, I wish I could send you some of my fertility" talk about shame!! Tough stuff, try to feel better, hopefully our baby BFP time is just around the corner.

Susan
xo

thanks for the support. I'm feeling much better today. . If causes a roller coaster full of emotions. Sometimes its so hard to bear. But I must say I'm feeling much better.

Mikalyn, glad you are feeling better. There is no shame in IF. The real shame is that most people do not understand IF and the effects it can have on a person. Your bff sounds like one of those people. I think it is so sad that your friend would even think they could be in the same category. Hang in there!

When I explained this to my friend she thanked me for putting things in perspective. She admitted to being selfish. She would complain about the symptoms of her abortion ( pain, bleeding..etc.). I was like I don't wanna hear about that!!!! Thanks everybody. I'm hanging in there.

So glad you're feeling a bit better. Stay strong.

Glad you are better today :) I can only imagine what a tough conversation that was for you emotionally! Stuff like that just rubs salt in the wound and makes us feel so bad. But despite that, it sounds like you handled the conversation as respectfully and gracefully as you could.
IF is tough. I don't understand why we have to go through this but I have to believe God won't give us anything we cannot handle. My hope is that after we are holding our little bundles of joy, we'll be able to make some sense in what all the waiting and struggling was all about. You're awesome; keep your chin up and hang in there!

Each and everyone of you are awesome. I'm glad I have the support of the people who can really understand. I know that everything happens for a reason. Hopefully one day soon we will be holding our bundles of joy and can look back and be able to make sense of all this. Life is a journey and this is just part of it for us. Hopefully this part of the journey won't last long and we can just breeze through. Much love to each and everyone of you guys.