You are certaintly NOT alone!! I am marching in that same parade with you. I hate that I have anger toward friends and even complete strangers around me who are pregnant, but I can't help it. I, too, feel completely stuck in my life. We had no problems getting pregnant with our first (now 3 years old), but for almost 2 years of trying and 3 miscarriages later, baby #2 is rather illusive. I feel like I'm standing in a hole, in slow motion, watching everyone in my life move on with their families. It is SO frustrating! I am so sorry that you have to be surrounded by so many preggos at work because you can't escape that. I ask myself the same questions "what about me? when is it MY turn??" Feeling this out of control is wrecking my control freak mind. But I think God is teaching me a lesson. While we cannot see what this is all about when we're smack dab in the middle of it, i can only hope that I will look back and see how this carved my character. I'm not there yet. Far from it. I recently saw a new RE for a second opinion and he asked me "How many people on this earth do you think are going to face some sort of soul crushing devastation during their lifetime?" 100%! It always seems that we are the only ones being put through hell, but we are not. I know I can't control this situation, but I can control how I cope with it. I just can't wither away out of self pity and depression (although it would be sooo much easier). I hope this doesn't come across as too preachy because I am still seeking advice and comfort myself. I guess I just want you to know that I'm going through it too and am reaching wherever I can to find comfort--as well as pass along any piece of comfort when I can.

I know exactly how you feel. It is hard to see so many pregnant women when you're trying to conceive again. I am so sorry :(. I got pregnant with my son w/o even trying and I had 5 women I was friends with have their babies within weeks of when I had my son. So we were all prego and baby buddies. Well, imagine my anguish when I have been watching these women get pregnant with their second and now most are pregnant with their THIRD! Ugh it was so hard! I know how it feels! It sucks MAJOR!

Two things helped me - switching docs because my midwife misdiagnosed me and my endo was so bad even the ultrasound tech could see it! Sometimes getting a second or third opinion helps.

Second- a women on DS who has secondary infertility shared her story about how her first child died of SIDS at 8 months and now she has been trying to conceive for about 2 years since her sons death. I am not sure why but her story inspired me to just hold on to my precious son. I can not imagine losing your only child just thinking about it makes me fill with anguish.

Don't give up hope! It can and will happen again! It took nearly 2 years, 2 major surgeries, and IVF for us to get pregnant again but it can and does happen!

I wish you the best!

Thanks for your responses ladies! fabclam you are not being preachy. It is very helpful to find out what other people are thinking or how they are thinking about this situation. It is nice to know that I am not alone in my grief and it does put it into perspective to think that everyone has something that they need to overcome, and this is one of my things. And Doodles13 I get how you feel like everyone is passing you by. Many of the women at work had their first child after I had mine, and now they are moving on without me! How dare they! Ha! Anyway, every once in a while I need to vent and I have to thank you for validating my feelings. It is much appreciated.

I so know how your feeling every where i look i can see people who are pregnant or new born babies i tell myself that it doesnt bother me but it oviously does i cant even walk out my front door without my nextdoor neighbour who has just had newborn baby 2 days ago been there, also iv found myself stopping going to my sister inlaws because she is pregnant and due in next couple of weeks also she was rather harsh to me by telling me she didnt even want the baby she was pregnant with and joking that she will sell it to me which i just bit my tongue and left

Don't apologize. Yesterday I walked out of a family function on my DHs side after his mother failed to warn us his cousin would be there with her 3 daughters and his other cousin was pregnant with her third. My DH and I are scheduled to do IVF in September to try and achieve a second pregnancy.

As soon as I saw the pregnant cousin walk in the doorway with her big belly following her two boys, I picked up my son, got in the car and drove away. I didn't even say goodbye. I left my husband there. I went home and cried all night. Had a cigarette for the first time in 3 years and blamed my husband for his funky sperm. I even sunk so low as to tell him I would divorce him if we didn't have an existing child.

So, no, you are not alone in your pain and you can use my anger as a reference to how horrible secondary infertility can feel and what an awful person it can turn you into.

I just posted about this one another thread about how hard it is to see ppl expanding their families and I am stuck in limbo and I absolutely HATE when ppl (always the ones who have never been infertile) tell me to "stop obsessing" or "just relax" or "it'll happen when it's meant". I want to scream with anger when I hear this.

I am right there with you! I have a 5 yr old son- love him to pieces. DH and I have been trying for #2 for over a year with no luck. So many of my friends are now pregnant with their second, third, even fourth! It's so aggravating because I AM happy for them but at the same time I am so envious and sick of turing around every second to find someone else I know pregnant- like it's no big deal. Oh we didn't even try- or this was an oopsie! it makes me so mad. I hate feeling like this- so angry but I can't help it. I am thankful that I have my beautiful son but I want to give him a sibling and I feel so helpless it's not happening. I totally agree with what you say about God's way- I always try to think he knows best and doing these things for a reason. He has taken care of us thus far so I can only hope his plans for us are just not yet happening- but then I lose hope when my period comes yet another month. I am just so sick of the rollercoaster.