Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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Yesterday... ****Trigger warning****

theblackrose
theblackrose
Yesterday I was at church (Shocker!) and they were talking about being chaste and staying sexually pure and how once its gone you can never get it back and the more I watched the videos on it I started to feel guilty, that all that happened was all my fault and that I should have done something.... I was triggered badly and I had a panic attack and burst into tears as all the memories came back. I was filled with fear and guilt.... the leaders became very concerned and when I told them they didn't react hardly... they didn't understand. Now I feel really stupid. Stupid for crying, stupid for telling.... stupid for existing.
pumpkinpumpkin
pumpkinpumpkin
You would have felt understood and supported if these leaders considered there will be incest and sexual assault victims in the group and they need to be assured they are not at fault. And their response makes it seem they are cold hearted. I'm sorry you were hurt. Don't stop looking for help. You will find support.
WalkinBuffaloMan
WalkinBuffaloMan
Don't feel stupid, You simply helped them to see that they no understanding of this issue. Hopefully those leaders have learned something from this and will be better prepared in case this happens in the future with another young lady or young fellow.
bluedragon41
bluedragon41
You're not to blame, sweetheart.
You're a good egg.
lovesmama
lovesmama
Wow sweetly I am so sorry for their complete ignorance... In no way is this your fault and you could have done everything different and still ended up a victim... The blame lies in the offender, the abusers, the perpetrator... No matter how "involved" they may have made you in the acts... They are all the offenders fault every single one!!! They where manipulating you to get what they want!!! You did not know this would be the consiquenses!!! The people at your church have it all wrong... I want to start by saying that I love Jesus and god very much, that I hold them near to my heart!!! I do not agree with most organized religion when it comes to sexual abuse!!! They have it back wards!!!! They talk of forgiving the perpetrator, forgive your abuser and that will set you free!!! This is no true it is completely backwards!!! We who have been abused need to FORGIVE OURSELVES AND BLAME THE ABUSER... Rather than forgive the abuser and blame yourself!!! I can 100% relate to your feelings of guilt and shame and responsibility, I had carried with me those feelings for all the sexual abuse in my young life I carried it and it was heavy!!! Then one day the most horrible thing happened... By daughter was raped at 5 years old by my brother who was 13... As I looked into hear soul I saw there the blame, shame, guilt, and responsibility she held for this terrible crime that she was a victim of... As I began to talk to her, to reassure her this was in no way her fault that no matter what she would have done differently this would have happened because my brother was sick, and very wrong, and my brother knew better, my brother knew that you do not rape small children... My brother knew that he was perpetrating incest!!! My brother made the choice to do this to my daughter, he made the choice to groom both me and her so that he could get what he wanted!!! It was 100% his fault he was the one to blame!!! As I talked to her I realized that I should be saying this to myself, for I had never forgiven myself for being sexually molested at 6, and raped at 16, and orally raped at 15... I blamed myself and I didn't have to... I had walked around my whole life as if I was to blame for these monsters actions!!!! If I had listened to my pastor I would have forgiven them and kept all that shame!!! But I stopped listening to them, I listened to my heart as I looked into my daughters soul!!! I was looking into the soul of a survivor, and she was no different than me and no different than you!!! When you think about your situation think about yourself as if you where a dear friend of yours and she had all this happen to her!!! You would not blame her!!! You would
Love her, feel sad for her, feel angry for her!!! Do these things for yourself...!!! Don't let this weight pull you down... Throw the blame into the face of your perpetrator and forgive yourself for having been victimized!!! You are a beautiful caring loving soul and I know you would never hurt another the way that you have been hurt!!! This makes you a good person... Unlike the perpetrator in your family!!! You are better than them!!! And god loves you so much!!! God wants you to forgive yourself!!! If Jesus was here with me today he would agree... You need to set yourself free from this responsibility it is not yours to feel the guilt, it is the perpetrators... They will need to repent on their own!!! You hold no shame in being the victim of a crime!!! You are a blessed soul!!! God loves you so much for being exactly who you are!!!