Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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wish my uncle would go away!

dsf95
dsf95
I love my aunt and uncle and want a relationship with them, but the uncle who attacked me lives with them, too. He is a sex offender and has a low IQ. He is also mean spirited, IMO. I feel stressed out when he is even near my kids. I NEVER let them alone with him or near him....

Why can't they send him to a halfway house or something? I really thought he would be in jail longer (I didn't send him there)
bluedragon41
bluedragon41
Do they know he assaulted you?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Too often sentences for sexual offences are too light.

I think you need to talk honestly to your Aunt and Uncle about your absolutely justified concerns regarding your other uncle and your kids. Even if he hadn't attacked you he is a convicted sex offender.

See if you can come up with some arrangement whereby you can see them without your uncle being around - can they come over to you? can you meet outside the home? how about when your other uncle is away?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please don't take your kids near him. Explain it to your aunt and uncle. You or your children shouldn't be put in that position. Yes, there should be a place for him to go. Have them check through the local mental health services,if they are open to that.
dsf95
dsf95
they do know he assaulted me in 1995.... it's so hard because they keep giving me expensive gifts and they are kind of supportive and more functional than my parents...

we never stay over night in their house, always in a hotel. we did camp in the back yard one time, my hubby is allergic to pets. I always went with my kids when they had to go to the bathroom. let's call the uncle who attacked me Chuck. Chuck usually retreats when we are visiting and is usually working or in his room, but he was more "in your face" this time. we were telling ghost stories by the firepit and he actually stood behind my son and started saying, "there's a monster back here." I was furious and got my kids to go color in the tent. I cannot believe how cruel he was.I don't think he was just being "retarded", he was taunting me. I think he wants me to know that this is his turf and he is tired of me visiting.
ReadingTreasure
ReadingTreasure
Wow, so they may be more functional than your parents, but not functional enough to stand in as parents. I would demote them to friends of the family or something and only visit when he is not there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yeh - I agree with ReadingTreasure.

Do you actually love them for who they are (not because of the gifts or because you want to love someone in your family so you can feel you belong and have a family)?

Meet them away from him, away from the house.