Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I was abused for years off and on by my great uncle. It started when I was 3-4, and the last time he raped me I was 12. I remember all of that, it took years for me to remember it all..... But I do now.
What I don't remember anything about is from the age of 6-8 when I first moved in with my mom's bf- my "stepdad." I know my stepdad is physically abusive- to everyone but me. If I get in the middle, he backs off. He won't lay a hand on me. My mom won't let him, but I never really could figure out why. I remember carving that I hate him in our patio when I was 6- only cuz my mom used to bring that up all the time. I know my stepdad has made comments to me about being a pervert- that I can't trust ANY man, not even him. I've even woken up to him watching me sleep before- and this was when I was older. I was 17 the last time I caught him. His excuse was "I wanted to see if you were awake because I wanted you to play on the playstation with me because I'm bored"
My fiance who knows about my great uncle (and was sexually abused himself) believe my stepdad touched me when I was very little.... And so do I.... I honestly have a very strong gut feeling that he did.
Thing is, my mom kicked me out a week after I graduated high school because he was abusing her and I told her she should leave him. She "loves him" so she would throw her own daughter out???
And my mom always makes comments about how she protected us from all the sexual abuse she went through.
Then I find out SHE KNEW WHAT MY GREAT UNCLE DID TO ME. And I'm 90% sure that she knows my stepdad probably did too............
She didn't care. And I'm heartbroken and feel so alone....... I just lost all that I had left of my family because of this. My great uncle passed away when I was 15... And now the rest of my family wants nothing to do with me.
What I don't remember anything about is from the age of 6-8 when I first moved in with my mom's bf- my "stepdad." I know my stepdad is physically abusive- to everyone but me. If I get in the middle, he backs off. He won't lay a hand on me. My mom won't let him, but I never really could figure out why. I remember carving that I hate him in our patio when I was 6- only cuz my mom used to bring that up all the time. I know my stepdad has made comments to me about being a pervert- that I can't trust ANY man, not even him. I've even woken up to him watching me sleep before- and this was when I was older. I was 17 the last time I caught him. His excuse was "I wanted to see if you were awake because I wanted you to play on the playstation with me because I'm bored"
My fiance who knows about my great uncle (and was sexually abused himself) believe my stepdad touched me when I was very little.... And so do I.... I honestly have a very strong gut feeling that he did.
Thing is, my mom kicked me out a week after I graduated high school because he was abusing her and I told her she should leave him. She "loves him" so she would throw her own daughter out???
And my mom always makes comments about how she protected us from all the sexual abuse she went through.
Then I find out SHE KNEW WHAT MY GREAT UNCLE DID TO ME. And I'm 90% sure that she knows my stepdad probably did too............
She didn't care. And I'm heartbroken and feel so alone....... I just lost all that I had left of my family because of this. My great uncle passed away when I was 15... And now the rest of my family wants nothing to do with me.
KISS, KISS. Keep It Simple, Sweetie.
When hatred emerges from my own psyche, I accept it as mine and mine alone. I do not try to analyze or judge the person I am hating on. I leave them to their own higher power and concentrate on the only part I have control over: me. When I am able to take personal responsibility for my own hatred, it invariably leads me to an infected wound in need of healing. Whatever the source of my wounds, the healing is mine to administer.
On the same token be kind to yourself to hate those that hurted you is very human.
Is ok to have human emotions like anger and hate.
Sometimes you just got to let them burn until they take their course........I go in spurs where i can not stop thinking about how much i hate my family nad then it seems to subside and i hardly think about them any more is normal.....
However i have stop all conatct with them, they were very toxic in my life.
You don't "have" to hate, but is sure is normal to feel that way given what you have been through. My best advice is to feel it, express it, experience it and talk about it with a therapist. These feelings help us, protect us and heal us. It is when I deny my feelings that I get into trouble.
I beg you though to make sure you get a therapist. While what you are feeling is so normal and actually the first part of your healing, it is so easy to get stuck there. After years of being angry and hating my abuser, (this was yeeeears later, not so fresh as yours) I found that the hate and the anger was only hurting me. So I then had to work on letting it go, for me.
Lastly, you are not alone. We are here and I"m sure you have other friends that will be there. You can build your own family and support system. When my family and I parted ways it was my chosen family, my friends, who helped me get through it all.
Blessings on you...