Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
Something must have happened at 2 AM when I was very young, but what? I have flashbacks of my father's face in front of me. Sometimes I have body and smell flashbacks of being held down and my father's smell. When I was very young I used to have dreams of snakes and I remember an out of body experience. My father used to laff at me because I used to tell him I wanted to kill him when I was in bed. Most of my life I woke up screaming or in terror or both. Now I just snap awake. All this happens at 2 AM. Just no memory of what happened in bed at 2 AM. It's been driving me crazy. What happened?
((hugs))
To use a metaphore - You were in the film when it was made and you hated it, why do you want to watch it again now? Trust yourself, you don't need to remind yourself in order to believe it.
Mega hugs
I, too, have memories that aren't complete, and the ambivalence about doing memory work with my therapist comes from wanting to know the truth and being afraid of confirming it even though I know what's true and what isn't.
Good luck. Be your brave self.
It is amazing our our memories are stored up so precisely,with the exact time traumas happened.
I have to deal with these flash backs too, at the moment.
Like you, my screams were timed.Then,recently night terrors started from after midnight , images emerged.
I believe, because we were very young, we could not figure out what was happening to us and also because it was beyond comprehension.I saw a huge snail on me , or briefly my father's distorted face with red eyes, heavy breathing and sweat smell and wine breath.Sometimes, I saw the devil in union with me, complete with beasty feet and horns!or a corpse.
It is part of the healing process, it shows you are able to verbalise this abuse.My husband too is coming out of the dissociative amnesia and sees snakes and also like chewing gum in his mouth.
I also write my dreams when I can remember them .
I remember to stay firmly centered in the now, in this body and not be afraid of what can manifest.
I found the most difficult to understand was when I started visually connecting with one of my altered states projected outside my body, I am telling you this in case it happens to you.Not to worry.Part of healing too.