I thought it was a good visual interpretation of what we go through, thanks for sharing.

very good interpretation exactly....was reading the comments and some were so ignorant...its very well done that "feeling" stays with you for life.

I didnt like it.
All the other videos surrounding it are chldren being abused by the looks of it. I didnt like the link or where it took me. I also dislike utube anyway. Sorry not having a go or anything.
So much porn and disgust.
I certainly do not want to be feeling like this until my dying day.
I am getting better and this hold is not on me.

No, you don't have to feel the pain until your dying day. There can be healing long before the last day. I am evidence of that. Don't be defined by the past and what someone else did. Be defined by who you are, and to become, the great person you were meant to be. Healing doesn't mean forgetting, but it means you can think of it and no longer feel the pain of it all.

Jimbobaronio,

If you doom yourself to "the life long yucky feeling /you/ know will always be there" then you're right...you will always feel this way because that's what you believe and have come to accept.

I watched that video and agree it was "yucky". I also know while it may have accurately captured that hard-to-describe feeling many may feel, the ultimate message was wrong.

Survivors do not have to suffer those "life-long yucky feelings" until they die.

The way out is through healing. We can heal. For me, it was the hardest thing I've EVER done. It demanded a commitment to stay the course--no matter how hard. Yes, I had to take breaks but knew I'd be back.

And yes, it demanded I discover a multitude of healing methods: therapy, workshops, 12-step groups, exercise, bodywork, journal writing, art, educating myself about the impact of abuse on my life, play, relaxation, healthy eating, sleep, learning how to be in relationship with others, changing my belief systems, retraining my brain, putting myself in the beauty and peace of nature on a regular basis, etc., etc.

Of course, I didn't do all these at once. I had to keep searching and working with different things to see how I responded to them. I started with therapy.

But, I came to realize that therapy alone is not enough. It's critical, but it's not a stand-alone...at least that's been my experience

Believing that that yucky feeling "will always be there," brings sadness to me because I know it doesn't have to be that way. I know there can be a better ending if you're committed to finding it. And I hope that you are.

xx
SuzA

Thanks for all the comments.

Today - I feel like the Yucky is here forever.

I have been 'working' on retraining my brain, therapy, books, CDs, writing, long walks, meditation, reflection, and more.

I agree it is hard work. I am trying to get out of the victim mindset. It happened and now I have the responsibility to fix it. That sucks totally.

Some days I am good and others bad. Some nights I sleep well others I wake serveral times a night.

I feel bi-polar right now. Jumping from good to bad and cycling back and forth.

I guess there is hope from what you guys have shared. I will continue to search for resolution and peace. Just seems out of reach.

thanks --

I find the video well done and depicting a reality that educates people.

Personally i do not believe that if you doom yourself because you may feel like that right now...Its not that simple..But that is me...If i believed i doom myself i'd be dead now.

A lot of things i told myself never came true good and bad....I find that kind of thinking to be scary tactics that do not work with everyone.

I found the video HELPFUL...It puts in a picture what some of us can not say in words....Some of us will heal some may live with that feeling all their lives and its NOONE business to jugdge them as to why or to say that they doomed their own selfs or did not try hard enough or anything...

Some people do not have access to treatment at all.....Some people suffer such abuse and neglect at such early age with no intervention of any kind their whole life....

In the book The Boy Who was Raised As A Dog Bruce Perry PHD explains why those would probably never really recover and many Docs have explain the reason why "some" ma never recover...

Its not as simple as making a super-human effort and what you tell yourself.

Thank you for the video is very educating.

I felt it was a piss take of those that have been abused.
We can all heal. We do not need to take it to our grave with us.

Thanks for sharing. I also liked this site.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVKLX1bgEkE

I thought it wa very educating.And very helpful to illustrate howe feel to people who never been abused.And helpful to recovery too.

Very well done.

And i disagree that everyone heals.And Docs disagree that everyone heals too.It depends.

Some people do not have access to professional help so how are they going to heal?

unomas,

Will everyone heal? No.
Can everyone afford professional help? No.
Does everyone want to do the hard work of healing? No.

I'm very much aware of that reality. The thing is, unomas, I do not adopt or advocate a point of view that says you can't heal. And, personally, I don't give a shit what the "docs" say about not being able to heal. I say do everything you can do to heal. Period.

Some will heal. Some will not. But if I buy into the belief that I may not heal, for reasons beyond my control, then I have, in fact, "doomed" myself.

For those who don't have access to professional help other ways must be found.

1) download Matt Atkinson's free pdf book - Resurrection After Rape. Though rape may not be part of your history, he has much in there that also applies to incest/sexual abuse survivors. www.resurrectionafterrape.com

2) teach yourself to meditate

3) journal daily

4) request that your local library get the following authors:
Peter Levine - Waking the Tiger
Eugene Gendlin - Focusing
Bass & Davis - The Courage to Heal
Babette Rothschild - Eight Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery
Brene Brown - The Gifts of Imperfection
Daniel G. Amen - Change Your Brain Change Your Life
others???

5) find a 12-Step group for survivors; if none exist in your area Google SIA (survivors of incest anonymous)or ISA (incest survivors anonymous) and send for information on how to start a group. SIA and ISA also apply to survivors who were sexually abused or raped.

6) Exercise/sleep/eat well

7) find free/or sliding scale therapists (they are around)

8) find ways to express yourself - safely; it could be art, music, ceramics, sports, community theater, etc.

9) learn how to change your brain

10) learn to play a musical instrument

11) although I'm not a big advocator of meds, there are people who may need their help--get it.

12) teach yourself to become aware of your body/surroundings/thoughts.

13) stop comparing yourself to others--we are all different--with different histories, experiences, families, strengths and vulnerabilities

Yes, I know, there were days when I was just too blue to get out of bed. Too negative to see past my nose and too scared to open my mouth. I survived those days. And I kept on going...one hard step at a time. You can, too.

Don't give up. And don't waste one minute of your life beating yourself up over ANYTHING. Give all that you have--knowing that that will be enough, because no one but YOU can determine whether or not you heal.

xx
SuzA

Sez i do not see the video saying you can't heal...Its depicting a person affected by abuse for a life time...hence educating people by letting them know abuse CAN affect people for a life time.

Whether it will or not??? its a personal thing.

I read you list i tried things there that NEVER worked for me.
So we are all different and unique.And we have to find OUR way.Not your way nor my way....we each find wha works or doesn't.

Okay.
We are all different anyway some heal and some dont. Some heal on their own some need therapy etc.
Some dont even want to heal.
I certainly dont agree with the video or the place where it was located.
I do not feel this way and it does not reflect how I feel either.
I get one life and its not being taken.

This made my skin crawl. Did not like it at all.