Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
This is only minorly about incest...
My wife and I have been sexually mismatched from the get go. She...um...had a sex change before we met. Male-to-female.
She seems to have only a miniscule desire for sex.
...I didn't realize that. Nope, I didn't.
I have problems with sex, yes...but sex is important to me. It's a rather strong biological drive in my case. I want it. I want to have sex in a way that does not make me feel horrible afterward, yeah. But I do want it.
She has problems with sex, but no corresponding biological drive to make her work on them...this is what I think.
I've also been emotionally neglected in this marriage. She admits that she's emotionally neglected me. Last year, my best friend kept me alive. She didn't. Where was she? Mainly at work overnight...but I was trying to communicate how badly off I was. She did not understand.
When, about six weeks into it she was around and awake to see me screaming, crying, and curling up in a ball...she was stunned. She did not know what to do. She held me, but then had to withdraw and go get on the computer. Seeing me fall apart like that was too much.
I will never be as bad again as I was last year, I think. It was the worst period I have ever, ever had. She was emotionally AWOL through all of it.
I feel like I ought to be angry with her...I was a bit...but mostly I just feel so sad. I think she just did not understand. She loves me, but she hasn't got the ability to understand me. I honestly believe she's asperger's.
So I love her, I care about her...but I'm not sure if us being married anymore is a good idea. We're going to work on the marriage for a year...but right now I feel so lost and sad.
And selfish and evil.
Because what right do I have to demand sex from her when she doesn't like it? Doesn't that make me an abuser?
DOESN'T THAT MAKE ME DAD???
We're working on it.
But I feel so guilty...and lonely... and sexually frustrated. And disgusted at myself. She tells me not to be angry at myself for being normal. It doesn't help.
I vent about this online because I have no-one in real life I can talk to. Depression, physical illness, my location, and my job schedule have made me pretty much a recluse.
It's a vent...and nobody knows what to do about all this, not even my individual therapist...maybe the couple's counselor can sort through this. Yes, we have one.
My wife and I have been sexually mismatched from the get go. She...um...had a sex change before we met. Male-to-female.
She seems to have only a miniscule desire for sex.
...I didn't realize that. Nope, I didn't.
I have problems with sex, yes...but sex is important to me. It's a rather strong biological drive in my case. I want it. I want to have sex in a way that does not make me feel horrible afterward, yeah. But I do want it.
She has problems with sex, but no corresponding biological drive to make her work on them...this is what I think.
I've also been emotionally neglected in this marriage. She admits that she's emotionally neglected me. Last year, my best friend kept me alive. She didn't. Where was she? Mainly at work overnight...but I was trying to communicate how badly off I was. She did not understand.
When, about six weeks into it she was around and awake to see me screaming, crying, and curling up in a ball...she was stunned. She did not know what to do. She held me, but then had to withdraw and go get on the computer. Seeing me fall apart like that was too much.
I will never be as bad again as I was last year, I think. It was the worst period I have ever, ever had. She was emotionally AWOL through all of it.
I feel like I ought to be angry with her...I was a bit...but mostly I just feel so sad. I think she just did not understand. She loves me, but she hasn't got the ability to understand me. I honestly believe she's asperger's.
So I love her, I care about her...but I'm not sure if us being married anymore is a good idea. We're going to work on the marriage for a year...but right now I feel so lost and sad.
And selfish and evil.
Because what right do I have to demand sex from her when she doesn't like it? Doesn't that make me an abuser?
DOESN'T THAT MAKE ME DAD???
We're working on it.
But I feel so guilty...and lonely... and sexually frustrated. And disgusted at myself. She tells me not to be angry at myself for being normal. It doesn't help.
I vent about this online because I have no-one in real life I can talk to. Depression, physical illness, my location, and my job schedule have made me pretty much a recluse.
It's a vent...and nobody knows what to do about all this, not even my individual therapist...maybe the couple's counselor can sort through this. Yes, we have one.
It was so hurtful to have to go through and I wish I could offer you some words of wisdom...but this is a journey that just sucks. Know we are all here for you and if you every want to talk feel free to msg me.
I had periods of hypersexual to sexual anorexia when my memories started emerging.
Everyday life can be a real challange to live together in a couple when flash bcaks reappaer,anxiety manifestes etc;;;
You seem to really love each other.Maybe a nice gesture,note on the table, bunch of flowers, nice meal at the restaurant breakfast in bed or whatever you like could help.
Massage is a good starter to get in touch safely.
My husband takes a lot of medicine at the moment so no sex but i am waiting for the time we can be reunited.We still love each other, we cuddle, we jokeof our lack of sex at the moment.He is not suicidal for the first summmer in his life, so it is vry good.Thr rest will follow in its time.
But I want to see her working on it.
She literally said when I brought up trying to find a hypnotherapist to figure out why she has no desire: "I'd only do that if I felt I had a problem."