Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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The weight of the world

hopeless25
hopeless25
Just a lot has been going on.... I found out that my cousin ( my abuser) will be here next month and got accepted to my college and may be moving here in the summer... School isn't going to well i'm sure i'm failing at least one class...And i keep getting into arguments with my friends..... I'm on anti-depressants and anxiety meds now and have been for almost a month now and i notice my mood keeps going up and down...It just sucks... :( My family realizes on me to keep my family together and my mom says i am my family keeper.....I have a lot of responsibilities including my 18 year old friend who is pregnant with my second god child, who is kicked out and i'm her only support,,,, So as you can see there is a lot going on in my life.. While being a full time college student and scholar athlete......But things are starting to fall on me and i don't know how much longer i can hold out like this......:( help
loum50
loum50
You need to put yourself first. You can not help others if you are not taking care of yourself first. Sometimes you need to say no. You may want to pick up a book on codependency. ((Hugs))
bluedragon41
bluedragon41
I see.

It is not your job to keep the family together it is YOUR PARENTS' JOB!
(sorry I got shouty, I think I need to lay off the coffee)

Another part of their job they are failing to do is keep you safe in your own home.

Right now, and in part due to too much java, I find myself a bit outraged that they expect all this of you when they don't even offer you a safe place to live.
Notice I did not say can't. I said don't.
Trying to keep it quiet is bad enough, but then to let the raping bastard back in the house when he'd attacked you?
Aw HELL no!

Sweetheart, you don't own them nothin'>
hopeless25
hopeless25
Its hard to put myself first like honestly i don't know how to even begin to do that. My parents aren't parents my father acts like a 12 yr old i'm more of the peace keeper than they are... and i'm the middle child.. My parents are going out of town for a week.. My sister 24 my brother 17 my mother asked me to come home from school ( i live in a dorm) to make sure that everything goes right... I'm sure they can take care of themselves right ? And everyone has a lock on their door but me i don'[t get it and to this point i don't care i'm putting one on i'll take the punishment it can't be worst then what my cousin does ....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes they can take care of themselves. A 17yr old does not need a babysitter! You do not need to go and look after them - this is your mum tying you in.

It will feel very strange and wrong putting yourself first after all this time and against your parents wishes, but it is honestly the only way you are going to get a life of your own and escape.

If your father acts like a 12 yr old, it's time he took responsibility for his own life. He is an adult. He should be being responsible for you,not the other way around. it is not your job or role or responsibility to look after him.

You are entitled to your own life. But you will have to grab it yourself.