Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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The little things that trigger.

proudaunt
proudaunt
I have been stuck in a bad depression, this morning woke up feeling a little better. Then I got on facebook. My cousin posted that is was 15 years since our Nana had died. For her it is a deep lose. For me it's a loss and a trigger. My cousin is unaware of the abuse by our Grandfather. I truly believe that my Nana knew nothing of the abuse. Even though it happened in the same house. She was a fiesty woman who would have beat the shit out of him. just her simple post sent me back to horrible flashbacks. I am so depressed and wishing I could just run away.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know waht you mean about little triggers...And actually the memories of small acts cause more of an emotional reactions from me that the "bigger" abuse.

Although the loss of your grandmother is no little things and if you got good memories about it.Its a huge loss.Sorry for it.Let yourself grieve it again.

Sometimes "small things" speak of so much.
proudaunt
proudaunt
I miss my Nana everyday. It was a strange twist of fate, my Nana had been in the hospital dying when my Grandfather had a heart attack and now she was doing better and he died. Before he died all the family hugged him goodbye, of course because I had not told anyone yet I had to do the same. I thought I was going to be sick instead i used all my courage and whispered in his ear, you are a bastard and hope you land in hell. My Nana lived five more years.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can sure relate. Lttile things, I wake up and im triggered. It seems all thats been on my mind lately is the abuse. And not only the abuse but the past in general. Every bad thing, every thing from stealing candy to, swearing to lying (little white lies) my whole life seems to be flashing before me. The flashbacks start from when i was being lured into the abuse and I am the one that started it. (Well it feels like i started it) then goes on from there, right till all the lies I told to make up a dreamy teenage life! Oh Gawd!
I am so sorry you are feeling depressed, I am feeling the same as of right now. I was trying to hold up a good front....
I too wish i could run away. I am not sure if im encouraging you or not. Letting you im with ya, sorry about your losses. Wish i could send you a smile somehow!
proudaunt
proudaunt
You are validating what I am saying that is helpful. Do not blame yourself saying you started it, the other person knew better. I have lied to so many people in the past all to keep the truth secret. I hope you feel better soon.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is hard to keep the truth hidden. I dont even remember half the lies I'm suppose to keep! When I was younger I was known as the fibber. I hated being known as the one that always told stories -- Really I wasnt a liar! but I had to be...Still today I sometimes know I carry that character blemish with me. I hate it!
I hope you feel better soon as well. thanks
deleted_user
deleted_user
Good for you for whispering that in his ear!!kudos!
homeogenic
homeogenic
TRIGGER WARNING:

Yeah...totally! My brother used to "play doctor" and oftentimes things to do with healthcare in general trigger me to have flashbacks. Another dumb yet huge one for me is the fact that he made us do the chicken dance (it's hard even to write that out) naked while he molested us. Everytime I hear that music, hear that phrase, or sometimes just dancing in general I get sick to my stomach, and feel overwhelmed with horrific memories...