Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I'm very concerned about my two girls, both preschool age. I'm a survivor myself and I never told so I "get it"
I'm so worried because their dad has done some inappropriate things. My therapist actually reported one situation to CPS and I was told they couldn't talk to my 3 year old, The officer I think was suspicious because we're separated. She told me quote " if you look for something you'll find it" She also said, if he did indeed do something, this will stop it . She never even interviewed him in person. She said unless he was a great actor, she believed him.
I just don't know what to do. My youngest has regressed. (wetting, angry) My oldest (6yrs) won't dress in front of me lately.
I could go on with red flags, but that doesn't prove anything! How do I get them to talk?? -- without leading. I do not want to hurt their dad, I just want my girls to have healthy boundaries and be safe.
I'm so worried because their dad has done some inappropriate things. My therapist actually reported one situation to CPS and I was told they couldn't talk to my 3 year old, The officer I think was suspicious because we're separated. She told me quote " if you look for something you'll find it" She also said, if he did indeed do something, this will stop it . She never even interviewed him in person. She said unless he was a great actor, she believed him.
I just don't know what to do. My youngest has regressed. (wetting, angry) My oldest (6yrs) won't dress in front of me lately.
I could go on with red flags, but that doesn't prove anything! How do I get them to talk?? -- without leading. I do not want to hurt their dad, I just want my girls to have healthy boundaries and be safe.
I know for my self too I never told either out of fear etc.. but I beleieve if my mom took out the time to ask me questions or draw a pic I would have hinted at it. My actions were there such as crying to be around my dad etc but she didnt think anything so I am glad you are at least looking into this and taking action. You can try having them talk to a therapist one that specializes in play therapy but I wouldnt suggest what you think is going on so she then can get them to talk without knowing herself to get their true feelings.
Try and google how to talk with your children into telling but you never want to put words in their mouth either or let them think you think/know what is /has been going on. Kids are very smart and can pick up on everything.
bestof luck to you
As far as your ex being an expert liar, I'm sure he is. Most abusers are very charismatic and experts at acting.
Remember there's a possibility that - if it did happen - he threatened them in some way, either by telling them they'd get into trouble, you'd get into trouble, he'd get into trouble or some other horrible thing the children don't want to see happen and are terrified of. If there's anything you can do to ease those fears, they may be more apt to come out and talk with you about it.
Good luck.....
My sympathy. It is good you see changes in behavior and can face the chance it is abuse. Many survivors won't.
Lauren's Kids Foundation has a program to empower kids
and there is a book (which I haven't read yet) "It's OK to Tell".
Be strong!