Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
This would seem to be a better place for it.
...I'm in a (not exclusive) relationship with a lady who's turned out to be a very, very kind person.
It feels...good!
And that's frightening.
...I found myself having thoughts of lashing out at her and driving her off...and at the same time I feel so guilty for having these thoughts. I'm not going to act on them...but they show me exactly how frightening I find this.
...Somewhere in my head I got the idea that if it feels good, it's gotta be a threat.
This weekend I went over to her place...and then kind of collapsed out of weariness...I got woken up to a backrub and coffee.
...She is SOOO freaking nice!
My STBX is a basically good person, but hasn't got a nurturing bone in her body.
...I don't think any of my exes have EVER been this nice to me.
Why does this make me feel frightened and overwhelmed?
...I'm in a (not exclusive) relationship with a lady who's turned out to be a very, very kind person.
It feels...good!
And that's frightening.
...I found myself having thoughts of lashing out at her and driving her off...and at the same time I feel so guilty for having these thoughts. I'm not going to act on them...but they show me exactly how frightening I find this.
...Somewhere in my head I got the idea that if it feels good, it's gotta be a threat.
This weekend I went over to her place...and then kind of collapsed out of weariness...I got woken up to a backrub and coffee.
...She is SOOO freaking nice!
My STBX is a basically good person, but hasn't got a nurturing bone in her body.
...I don't think any of my exes have EVER been this nice to me.
Why does this make me feel frightened and overwhelmed?
Noticing your reaction is a good step. You deserve someone nice and kind :-)
I'm glad you have met someone that is kind. We all deserve to be happy or content. No matter how often we have felt as if we don't deserve to be loved or cared for.
It's natural when we have experienced pain and trauma in our lives to question anything good or even be afraid of it.
Learning to allow ourselves to feel good is sometimes a scary step but so worth it when we do.
I too was one that pushed away good things for I felt as if I didn't deserve it and that I offered nothing for the other person until I let my now husband help me realize I am worth it!
I have been married for 20 years and even when things go awry with my emotions and such I know my husband is not my enemy and would not hurt me.
Embrace all the good feelings you can and I hope that you continue to have them!
O/T- to you- Thank you for the chocolate- All is good with me just felt like putting up a silly avi!
My mind and body had identified love with abusive relationships and rough behaviours.I always needed a lot of "adrenalin" and drama in my life to feel alive and in control.
It is such a nice feeling to feel safe with one's lover.You deserve it.