Not so much while writing, but definitely whilst talking to my therapist, and yes it makes me feel disgusting and dirty. Apparently it's quite normal. Horrible but normal.

Glad to hear it is not just me. It is such a horrible feeling.

the same thing has happened to me, proudaunt, while writing and while reading about situations like mine. Yes, I felt horrified and disgusted. Like breakingtheshell, I also understand it is normal.

the only thing that works for me is to shift my focus to something healthy and positive and to remind myself that I am not to blame for what was done to me.

I think the arousal is part of a coping mechanism as well as just part of how the body responds to certain touching. So I remind myself that the body is normal and sexual response is normal and not to judge myself for my coping mechanisms.

Having a real hard time focusing on anything positive. First time ever could not finish homework. That was my last account maybe things will get better.

Yes, this has been talked about before here.
It's pretty common...
It's not your fault.
Most of the memories I got back of my dad having sex with me include efforts of him to turn me on, efforts that worked...
So when I got memory return I got aroused, sometimes to the point of pain...This for hours sometimes.

Thanks for all the replies. It freaked me out, but now I understand it. Not happy about it, but understand it. It is so sad how this abuse just keeps coming to haunt you. Sometimes I wish I had never told anyone, screw therapy screw DBT and all the meds.

One of the things I have found in my process is that when things like this happen it is normally connected to something deeper. For me most of the time it is either the need to self medicate to forget what it is coming to the surface or the need to detach from myself in order not to feel the grief that comes with these remembered things. The problem with pushing these things under the rug is that you do not heal from them in doing that, you just ignore the root cause.
Another good example so of related is when I feel like I fail at something and I sexualize that failure which relates back to the feelings that I had from the past. "Had I been stronger I would not have been molested" or "Had I spoken up things would be different.