Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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prosecution

champion100
champion100

I need to find someone that understands the feeling that I can't bring myself to turn against my step father even though he sexually abused me and my niece.  I feel guilty that I dont want to prosecute.  I feel like he does care about me even though he did this selfish act. Why cant I be bold and help him get punished for his acts.  What is holding me back and even teriffying me?  

donnawanda
donnawanda
I think it's not that unusual. Children are programmed to bond with their caretakers. It's a matter of survival for children. And once we grow up, those bonds are hard to break, even in the case of abuse. Also, going through the process of prosecution could be very traumatizing for you.

I am 58 years old and I am still scared of my mother, who is in her 80s. So the terror makes sense to me too. I would never have prosecuted my father either.

Are you in therapy or counseling to help heal from what happened to you?

The choice of whether to prosecute or not is yours to make, and nobody can judge you for whatever choice you make. The only thing that might influence that decision is the question of whether he will go on to abuse some other kid now that you and your niece are out of reach.
champion100
champion100
Thank you for your response. It gives me comfort to know that my feelings are understood and normal for the circumstances. De-tatching from my caretaker/abuser is extremely hard for me. I'm trying to look at this situation from the outside but something draws be back to the inside looking outward. I'm so sad and confused at times as I am slowly telling close friends and they have differing points of view on this matter. My relationship with my sister has deteriorated since this happened to her daughter but I feel like I can't do what would make her happy and help her prosecute. I am reading a book that is shedding the light on what happened to me. Maybe I will seek more therapy when i finish reading it. Thanks again for your comforting comments.
NikAsa
NikAsa
I recently went to trial against my father. I'm just now uncovering the anger (shame disgust) I feel and am seeing a phychologist and looking for local support groups.
My step mother (who was there and believed me) was the one who started the process. At this point it has been many years. I DID NOT want to even testify but of course I had to as the victim. I had to talk about all he did but the best part is I had a team that believed and helped me so very much. The process although painful was what I needed. I was terrified to testify but I am so glad I did. God got me through it. If you decide to ever do it know that you aren't alone.
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