What a difficult situation. I don't know what to say to help. Just wanted you to know that you will find compassion here.

Thanks I decided to do my best to remove myself from the situation. My sister doesn't want to seek professional help to see what happened and I'm not convinced it was my father. I'm afraid this will destroy her relationship with my parents but all I can do is try to convince her to proceed with caution.

I had my repressed memories of abuse resurface last summer.. I had been close to my father on and off my whole life... I had let him babysit my daughter over and over when she was little... Then it all hit me so hard... And I had people react the way you are... People don't want is to remember these things they don't because it does distroy families... You see... That is why I repressed it in the first place... To keep myself and everyone else safe from the truth...!!!

Let's just say... I believe your sister... There is no worse place to be than to remember the sexualmabuse between you and a parent... It is earth shattering stuff... No one wants to remember this stuff... So if she is remembering it, she isn't making it up... No one would...!!! The information online about false memories is all fake and there is a TON of this information out there... But it was originally reaserched by pedophiles who relied on the repressed memories staying repressed! My father is a big supporter of the false memory syndrome... Because he is an evil sexual predator who wants to continue to get away with all that he did to me...!!!

But one thing for sure will help your sister...!!! If you just tell her you believe her, don't question or challenge her... Just support her!!! She doesn't want to be remembering this stuff... It is painful and scary and you are in a position to help her with that... The support of your family especially your sister can and does make a world of difference to the person who is having this kind of repressed memory stuff going on...

My vote is to forget about what this will do to the family, and just be there for your sister... She is trying to make a new family, a safe family...!!! She should be supported and loved and believed...!!!

Healingtears, first I would like to say I like your sign-in name. Tears truly are healing.

I believe I was sexually abused as a child by my father and that he also abused my sister. It is frustrating not to have video-camera-like memories. On the other hand, I repressed this for many, many years and when I began remembering it was extremely traumatic for me. The worst part is not remembering clearly and not wanting to wrongly accuse my father and really not wanting to have the memories at all and yet feeling strongly that I needed to finally be honest with myself.

I don't believe my father is a danger to other children at this point in his life but I don't feel good about the way he denies what happened in the past. I don't want to punish him. I just want honesty.

Hi. I will pray for your family. I have been through a similar situation. I was in therapy for 6 years over the abuse I suffered as a child. I remember my therapist telling me that it's common for female incest survivors to "remember" things, or at the very least to have powerful emotions come to the surface after giving birth. So there may be something to what she is feeling.

I would be very careful about confronting your mother, or your sister confronting your father over this. If so, you need to be prepared for your family to be permanently torn apart. You need to prepare for the chance that they will aggressively turn against your sister. I confronted my family and it was the biggest regret of my life.

Your sister may feel "empowered" by vocalizing her emotional pain, but trust me, in the end she will want her child to have grandparents.

As for you, incest survivors typically shutdown sexually or become "oversexed" If you are living a healthy emotional and sexual life my guess, is that nothing happened to you.

Your sister needs to be seeing a therapist to help her work through her feelings and pain. She needs a safe environment to express her anger.

Your sister may feel "empowered" by vocalizing her emotional pain, but trust me, in the end she will want her child to have grandparents.

A child can and will flourish without grandparents... Better to have no grandparents than have your child sexually abused by their grandparent!!!

Sorry to disagree... Everyone is different we can not say what is best for her sister... But if sexual abuse occurred. That man should never have access to any child ever again!

It is empowering to confront... But it is also very hard emotionally...!!! But in the end I am happy my daughter never has to see her grandparents again! They are sexually abusive and deceitful and ideeply into denial... These parents of mine won't ever be grandparents to my baby and we don't feel a loss at all...!!! Life is easier without them...!!!

I never had memories, just very strong gut feelings when my daughter was born when my father was around her. When my daughter was 2 he started asking when he was going to get to take her for ice cream alone. Something in my gut rose so fast and I spewed out NEVER. Still without memories but the feelings were there 6 years before I started getting tiny snippets of flash backs. I would believe her. I would never want my child to go through the hell and isolation I endured growing up because of it and the repercussions as an adult of being unable to bond with men at all or have close relationships. She needs support and your niece deserves to grow up in truth for her protection. My family shuns me and my sister still wants my daughter now age 14 to go to her house and I refuse because she does not believe me and would have my father over in a heartbeat. When my daughter was 10 my father said something disgusting to my daughter in front of my mother and my mother said NOTHING. I confronted my father and he never admitted it but said he was going to hell. All I had was feelings and a few snippets of memory that I began drinking to get away from. Believe me, no one would want the personal absolute hell that these memories bring with them unless they were real.

I could never remember my childhood until my parents died, then the memories started to come. I knew they were real. I didn't remember everything at once, but the first memories put me into major depression for years. Over the past 30 years I've regained most everything, but not all.

Your sister will need a lot of support.

I can't imagine anyone having false memories of abuse, It's so incredibly painful. That is how it started with me, at first the memories were vague, but they became clearer and much more painful.

Locum, I as well have been going through a depression for 6 years after starting to get flashbacks, I wonder if I will ever truly live again. If only I had support maybe. Heaingtears, I hope she is doing ok and getting support by someone. I hope you have support as well in case you have your own memories. You could support each other.