I have learned to accept what happened to me for the longest time it was blocked from my memory. I felt like i was a different person like I did not belong I turned my back on people who cared for those who chose to mistreat me because I felt I deserved it. I never stood up for myself once I felt I was deserving of what even r I let be done. My abuse only too place over one summer along time ago but left a lifetime of anger and issues. I did not fully remembernmy abuse until my grandmother died. My abusers came to the funeral and it was like a movie happened I. My head I lived it all and I knew I finally knew why I was the.wayni was.

I allowednmyself to be victimized my whole life and I never knew why. Now I had my answers an epiphany. A lightbuld lit Up and i had my answer. Did it make everything ok. No. But it explained it all I lived so long accepting that inwas just a geeky nerd. I can never forgive or look at my abused in the eyes but I have forgiven him only due to the fact while I did suffer I nevernlived knowing what happened. I just lived an abnormal and hard childhood