Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
Hi there. I've been on daily strength for a while in the physical and emotional abuse group...I joined after getting out of a verbally/emotionally abusive relationship but didnt feel comfortable coming in here even to read posts.
I am an incest survivor. it is so scary for me to even type those words. ive only ever shared my story with counselors and my sisters, its very hard for me to talk about. i recovered memories 5 years ago and every day is a struggle.
today i started making phone calls trying to get records surrounding what happened, from child protective services, the courts, police, and my old psychiatric records. I guess im thinking of filing a case but i feel terrified and compelled at the same time to take legal action, and scared of losing the case.
it was really frustrating to call so many people and get nowhere, to say i was looking for cps files felt embarrasing, i could barely speak on the phone.
i was able to be calm and go to work after doing some of these calls this morning but ive been crying since i got home from work.
It sucks to work so hard for so long to understand what happened but to feel like it will never end. i still feel disgusting, sad, angry, alone. i cant talk to any of my friends about it i just cant.
i dont know what kind of response im looking for i guess just want to tell this to someone, even if it is the internet. my next counseling appointment isnt until next week, and after five years of counseling sometimes i just want to give up anyway.
I am an incest survivor. it is so scary for me to even type those words. ive only ever shared my story with counselors and my sisters, its very hard for me to talk about. i recovered memories 5 years ago and every day is a struggle.
today i started making phone calls trying to get records surrounding what happened, from child protective services, the courts, police, and my old psychiatric records. I guess im thinking of filing a case but i feel terrified and compelled at the same time to take legal action, and scared of losing the case.
it was really frustrating to call so many people and get nowhere, to say i was looking for cps files felt embarrasing, i could barely speak on the phone.
i was able to be calm and go to work after doing some of these calls this morning but ive been crying since i got home from work.
It sucks to work so hard for so long to understand what happened but to feel like it will never end. i still feel disgusting, sad, angry, alone. i cant talk to any of my friends about it i just cant.
i dont know what kind of response im looking for i guess just want to tell this to someone, even if it is the internet. my next counseling appointment isnt until next week, and after five years of counseling sometimes i just want to give up anyway.
Is very brave of you.
Yeah recovering from child abuse has got to be the hardest thing one has to do,some people rather pass down the abuse, live in denial and sicken others, so congrats!
You got the courage it takes and it takes a LOT of it....
I found for myself, I needed to reach a certain stride of maturity and perspective in order to deeply heal. I can relate to the idea of revisiting the wounds but from a different, higher perspective. The first time around, it sounds like, you were still very busy simply just surviving it. Now you can take a true adult perspective on it, understand what happened to you, where and how you got hurt, how it affects you today, work through it and let yourself be free.
I just read this book, another person here recommended and it helped me a lot to get to a new level of understanding about my abuse.
Judith Herman's Trauma & Recovery: The aftermath of violence from domestic abuse to political terror.
It talks both about how people get hurt, and how they heal - and how all these different types of abuse, acts of coercing another through violence, have a lot in common. It really opened some locks for me, and I felt better and freer reading it.
It's good that you can cry, far better than not being able to express it. You can overcome it all. You are bigger than what happened to you, by far.
I agree! I try to limit how much my friends hear about my situation because it's too much for them. It's not too much for other survivors though, I think you'll find.
Welcome and thanks for sharing.
I'm in the process of talking to a lawyer about disability insurance and the first call was really easy once I managed to make the call. They will be able to give you a clearer perspective on whether you have a case or not. Have you spoken with a lawyer yet?
samadian- i have not talked to a lawyer yet. i have looked up a couple but have yet to call because I felt it would be overwhelming, that it would be easier to gather the info a little at a time and see what kind of case I have first...
but after making all those calls the other day Im thinking a lawyer might help so that i don't have to explain what im doing to so many people (who apparently are all baffled that i'm trying to dig up records from 18 years ago) I think i'm going to talk to my counselor about it next week, she has offered to help get info from CPS and the courts since she is a licensed social worker
I am only at the first phone call and don't even know if I have a case yet so I could be wrong.
so , I like you cant and dont want to ptu it in my friendships becasue I totally project that they will be as revulsed and horrified as I a by me and it. (sign of trauma memories and feelings moving close ). i have learned that those are the exact moments to make any kind of contact with people--because I did not reach out when I was so vulnerable, lost , confused and completely alone with the reality. I too am grateful you guys are here . Its so helpful not continue to withold all those awful realities and charged feelings in. come share we all feel the same things one time or another and we all deserve to be heard--especially when in pain. I know I did enough hiding in peppy adjusted parts" acting as if" and trying to blend in when I felt so different. Utlimately with healing we wont feel less than and different from and our humanity will connect us on equal status to others, but truth be told there are parts of recovery that you reexperience that sense of different from, not belongiing, shame work is tough but those who have done it tell me its so worth it and this grief and feelings go away. so share share share.