It's so easy to blame ourselves and beat ourselves up. Stopping those thoughts is key. I totally understand where your coming from, when you talk about the dirtiness whether it's from the past trauma or the current things you do.
As for the dirty books, and intranet stuff you do, it's not healthy, but it's also not your fault. It doesn't make you dirty, and it's nothing that we should start calling ourselves a bad person because of it. I would try to find someone to help you with those tendencies to look at the dirty things and steer you clear of the desire to look at those things.
I would start to feel arousal thinking about sexual encounters and this makes me feel dirty even if it's healthy. When the feelings came thinking about my cousin abusing me and the arousal I got back then began to hit me now too, and it made me feel disgusted and I can't explain it at it was never pleasant when he touched me and told me how to do something. I think it is what the abuse has done to us over time but there are people out there to help us find a less harmful way of thinking and doing things on the internet. You do deserve to be loved in a healthy way. Don't rush to be with or in a relationship until you work on you first. it's also advice I should follow, but I have been working through many things in the aspects of feeling dirty and unworthy and disgusting. It's tough cycle to break but you can do it, just remember it's not you to blame it is your abusers. They are the ones who have damaged you, but give yourself permission to fight back and be strong and block those unhealthy ways. You are and have been worth so much more than what they make us believe and feel. Hope this helps a little, and don't be so easy to blame yourself, when your feelings are stemmed from a bad person and their unhealthy desires,