Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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loum50 08/08/2012

I'm so depressed right now I can't stand it. I miss my wife terribly. I miss not being able to walk or drive because of the amputations. Two nights ago I had a nightmare about the sexual abuse and woke I terror. My job is insisting I work a lot of overtime. Yesterday I worked to midnight, 16 hours. I feel so miserable right now.

bluedragon41 08/08/2012

((((HUGS))))
I wish I could make it better.

loum50 08/08/2012

Thanks. I found a sexual abuse survivors group less than three miles from where I live. It's not wheelchair accessible. If there is a God, he hates me. I can't win at anything. Sorry to be so miserable.

sunnydays123 08/08/2012

I am so sorry. That is horrible. Do you think you could ask them if they might change the local or make it accessible? I wish you the best.

chris1976 08/08/2012

Time for some support. Best wishes. Sadness passes. Hugs.

deleted_user 08/09/2012

You've sunk in the dark place, I am so sorry. I'm sorry that your wife can't be with you. Most deep misery passes, but boy does it feel eternal when you're in it. I hope this pain passes quickly.

moonface21 08/09/2012

Hi Loum
Everything seems so black sometimes, especially after nights of reactivation and terror.
Flash backs are terrifying and pump all our energy.I hope you can sleep better tonight.
I have heard of Survivors of Incest Anonymous live on line.If it does not exist, maybe, you could start one with Skype.

loum50 08/09/2012

I feel much better today. Thank you. The nightmare was a symbolic memory and was very triggering, especially since I was feeling very vulnerable and tired at the time.

*********VERY************
*********TW***********

The dream was the same as the one I had that started the night terrors that I have had all my life. The dream was of small snakes holding an animal in place so it couldn't move. Then a larger more rigid snake stuck it's head inside the animal's mouth.

My analysis is that the smaller snakes were my father's fingers, the animal was me and the larger snake was my father's penis.

When I had this nightmare as a child, I would wake in terror and want my mother. My father would not let me see her and would verbally abuse me terribly for a long time.

This is probably why I've been depressed for a while. The memory was about to surface. It put me in crisis mode for a couple of days.

deleted_user 08/09/2012

Hey Loum, im hoping that you find the peace of mind you are looking for. I understand about missing your wife, its gotta be hard. The abuse stuff doesnt stand still when other things are hurting us. I know now that I am going through the hardest transition in my life -- I would wish the flashbacks, memories, and the pain, heart ache, anxiety that comes along with all of that would just stop!
I feel so drained, so Im with ya Loum. Hope that things begin to settle for you.
HUGS

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