Makes total sense. Whenever there is such a public story as this, and the events are so cruel, it is going to make us think about our own unjust situation.
Keep up with your therapy.
Best to you.

It makes perfect sense to those of us who have lived through it! Does it make sense that what you may want to allow to die is the "you" of the past, and that the "you" of today desires to live completely? I hope so, because that was sort of the epiphany that I had when I overdosed and was unable to move or ask for help - I was almost dead when I realized that "I" did not want to die, I was just SO tired of living the way I had been living - a life powered by pure guilt and shame, not inspired to live but to escape and escape and escape. Fortunately for me my friends got to me and somehow kept me alive through the night until I got past the drug-induced paralysis and could purge the meds from my stomach finally. I remember that I went to work the next day and had so much on my mind that I about lost it. But it was my turning point - and I almost did not live long enough to enjoy it. My life since has been rough at times, but it has ALWAYS been better than it was.
So, I encourage you to continue with therapy, let the old "you" die appropriately, and allow the "new you" to go through the birthing pains so that you can rediscover life and the joys it has to offer. I really believe that one day, hopefully sooner than you think, you will find that the power you gain now will increase to the point you can be a light to others, helping them find their way out of this mire that keeps so many others from enjoying life and having the existance that we all should experience.
All my best - I hope that one day soon this will all make sense to you and you will find the strength to reach out to others. You have a powerful story to share!
Refuse2quit

I've felt the same way, then with my therapists help I realized that the part that wanted to die was protecting me from the fear of being alive. When I was able to connect with that part, I was able to ask that part that I was able to protect myself and was able to start living. One day at a time. :-)

Hi proudaunt, I don't know if it makes sense, but it resonates with my emotional state. I can get distracted by life, but if I sit and rest for a minute I feel I don't want to keep going. I try to feel my feelings and I can't keep my awareness while I do it. I start to dissociate right away, overeating and similar self-comforting behaviors. I know there's love, freedom, security, optimism, but I can't seem to feel them. Life, when I think about it, still seems like a trick, a scam, a prison sentence. It's bad too, when people say "you have the choice", because I don't remember making the choice, and I don't seem to be able to change my mind.
I do believe that we have an eternal spirit that will one day be enlightened, so I'm looking forward to that day.

I have been following that story and reading about it as well. I keep thinking what an ordeal they endured and went through. I then think of what i've gone through and thought to myself....I know I wasnt caged but I might as well have been.
So yes understandable, its a hard story to follow -- it really hits me and I just cry each time. But they are now out and can heal. I am now out as well and I can heal....at least that's what I want and are reaching for. At times I feel like maybe I can't heal.
I am trying hard to live in the moment as well
Sending hugs