Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
Dr. Rankin wrote Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself.
She says we are responsible for our thoughts, beliefs and feelings--I agree, and that every negative thought is poison to our bodies.
I saw her on a PBS special and one question she kept asking was "What does your body need in order to heal?" "The answer," she said, "Will always feel like freedom; she attributed the "freedom" remark to Martha Beck, columnist for Oprah.
Dr. Rankin offers a free Self-Healing Kit which you can get by going to her website: lissarankin.com
I believe it's worth the time because I know there are many physical side effects of sexual abuse and am willing to check out anything that may help.
I hope you are, too.
xx
SuzA
She says we are responsible for our thoughts, beliefs and feelings--I agree, and that every negative thought is poison to our bodies.
I saw her on a PBS special and one question she kept asking was "What does your body need in order to heal?" "The answer," she said, "Will always feel like freedom; she attributed the "freedom" remark to Martha Beck, columnist for Oprah.
Dr. Rankin offers a free Self-Healing Kit which you can get by going to her website: lissarankin.com
I believe it's worth the time because I know there are many physical side effects of sexual abuse and am willing to check out anything that may help.
I hope you are, too.
xx
SuzA
Would it be fair to say that our abusers are responsible for the negative thoughts we have about being abused? Would someone burned in a fire be responsible for a terror of fire? Someone who survived an earthquake who fears another? I say what we encounter in life can shape our thoughts, beliefs and feelings and if we had bad fortune the above belief is unrealistic and unkind if not victim blaming.
What we encounter in life does shape our thoughts, beliefs and feelings - but how much do we allow what happened in the past to affect our future? My problem is I still deeply believe that no one is trustworthy and that I am powerless when faced with opposition. This was true when I was a child, but it is not true now. Now I have to adjust my thoughts, beliefs and feelings to my new reality. I need to learn as much from my current experiences as I did from the old.
You ask, "Would it be fair to say that our abusers are responsible for the negative thoughts we have about being abused?"
I say, Yes--initially. But believing I must carry those thoughts for the rest of my life makes me a perpetual victim. And I refuse to play that role.
I can choose to be a positive, life-loving person. Or I can believe I am forever damaged.
It's not easy. I've worked on my healing for years and will continue to heal whatever areas still need my attention. Do I wish I'd never been wounded? Of course. But I was and nothing is going to change that.
What will change are my thoughts, belief systems, and consequently, my feelings. My life is my responsibility now and I refuse to live it in perpetual homage to the predators who wounded me.
You are right when you say that "...what we encounter in life can shape our thoughts, beliefs and feelings...." But life is not at a standstill. We can also encounter wonderful things in life if we are open to it. We don't have to let the hurtful things in life overcome us--unless we believe we are forever damaged.
You continue, saying, "...and if we had bad fortune the above belief is unreal and unkind if not victim-blaming." Bad fortune does not have to determine how we live in the present nor shape our future.
Healing required me to jump many hurdles, to take safe risk, to learn to become vulnerable without sacrificing my Self, to open my eyes and discover there are wonderful, delightful, warm people in the world--not just predators.
Dr. Rankin is not blaming the victim; she is trying to empower them. And knowing I am responsible for my thoughts, beliefs and feelings brings me both joy and freedom. I don't have to be what the predators told me I was.
I am free to let the real me unfold.
I say, Huzzah!
xx
Sending love your way.
SuzA
Huzzah? I've never heard of it.
I am happy for all you have overcome and wish you a wonderful holiday.
Huzzah is one of my favorite expressions. It means an exclamation of joy, applause and appreciation.
And I say huzzah because you are alive and healing.
My warm thoughts are with you this day and the coming holidays.
xx
SuzA