During therapy I uncovered a few distinct personalities, these seem to have whittled down to 3 main ones. There is Julia who is hurt, mad, artistic and fun loving. There is Alex who wants everything under control and to do everything correctly, she knows how fragile security is and that everything good in life could be swept away in a nanosecond. Alex want to do things for other people, partly to be nice, but mostly to be liked and as a way to secure her space in the world. Until I started therapy Alex would not let any of the others in - although they heavily influenced things from behind the curtain and sometimes fought their way to the front.

Then there is another, a core. She is still very elusive but as my therapy goes on I am becoming more aware of her and of her strength.

It came as such a relief when I was able to identify these different characters within me - until then it was very confusing and upsetting.
I don't hear voices (except my mother's - lol) in my head, they would just take over. I am now trying to get a dialogue going because I'd prefer to hear what they have to say so I can give the other a chance to respond. Sometimes that's just listening, sometimes it's a brief conversation.

I don't care if it's weird, it works for me.

My little abused child didn't die but went deep inside and when was triggered to come out all the self hate and anger did too. I definately go into a different personality at work. I have several that I have no contact with. At least One of those is very self hurting. I have another one that is a playful child. There is another that the only evidence I have of him is when people would come up to me that I didn't know, but knew me by a different name. I used to think I sleep walked.

No. It's not weird at all.

You might want to check out the MPD board and see if anything clicks for you. I know it helped me a lot.

Thank you guys, breaking your righ t as long as it works for me .
Loum thank you for sharing, when people call me by my actual name I tend to forget and be like oh yeah that's me it's weird lol
Paigec thank you I looked into it I think I might belong

I do not have MPD but can very much relate. I think as abused children we learn very quickly how to adapt to different situations in order to protect ourselves.

I didn't split, but I did adapt. I was the christian, obedient daughter at home, I was the wild child with friends and at work I was again the obedient and diligent worker. When I would meet new people I'd adapt to their personality, laughing at what they laughed at, picking up their characteristics....all the while still me. I was a talented actress at a very young age.

When I started dating this act of adaptation was very apparent. I was what ever my boyfriends needed me to be....in every way if you know what I mean.

For me it had more to do with pleasing and codependency. But, yep, I can relate.

Thank you baileygirl, I don't think I have MPD lol I really didn't know but thank it's like you said you can adapt to, others personalities i'm like that too especially when it comes to boyfriends

I created personalities to survive also. I don't know how many I have. My father was basically my pimp and lover for years, but all of that was under the influence of drugs. He was drugging me, I believe, and then putting me in the car and abusing me. I think other adults were involved. My father did not have much time for me, but I think he did make money from me.