Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
My parents are intelligent people and mean well. But there are areas of life where they are bizarre. I've said that my mom believes she was raped by her brother as a child, he also molested my brother and me.
anyway, the bathroom is one area in my family where weirdness exists. My oldest brother would never lift up the seat when he peed, I would always have to clean off the toilet seat before I sat down. when he would spend hours in our one bathroom doing his hair (so he could look perfect and no one would make fun of him), I would be screamed at if I had to "interrupt" him and use the bathroom. My mother encouraged me to pee in a plastic cup so I wouldn't bother his rituals.
my dad would routinely make us all leave the house if he had a bowel movement. one time I did not want to go because I had an ear infection that had spread to my eye and it was pink and puffy, he said to wear sunglasses and made me go.
yesterday, my other brother was over at my house. I went into the kids' bathroom and it smelled awful. Liquid poop had been splashed on the lifted up lid and toilet seat cover. I started to blame my son, but asked what had happened. my brother said "I stood up to poop because I didn't feel like sitting down" I was like, Wha? my brother is 40. He didn't understand what he did was was wrong or weird.
I know this is not specifically incest, but I feel kind of shamed by these events and didn't know where to post it.
anyway, the bathroom is one area in my family where weirdness exists. My oldest brother would never lift up the seat when he peed, I would always have to clean off the toilet seat before I sat down. when he would spend hours in our one bathroom doing his hair (so he could look perfect and no one would make fun of him), I would be screamed at if I had to "interrupt" him and use the bathroom. My mother encouraged me to pee in a plastic cup so I wouldn't bother his rituals.
my dad would routinely make us all leave the house if he had a bowel movement. one time I did not want to go because I had an ear infection that had spread to my eye and it was pink and puffy, he said to wear sunglasses and made me go.
yesterday, my other brother was over at my house. I went into the kids' bathroom and it smelled awful. Liquid poop had been splashed on the lifted up lid and toilet seat cover. I started to blame my son, but asked what had happened. my brother said "I stood up to poop because I didn't feel like sitting down" I was like, Wha? my brother is 40. He didn't understand what he did was was wrong or weird.
I know this is not specifically incest, but I feel kind of shamed by these events and didn't know where to post it.
if you haven't already, I think you should talk to him and set some behaviour rules that are non-negotiable. Don't justify, explain or apologise. Just tell him these are the rules of your house and that everyone has to stick by them. end of.