He may have abused your mom, that's not an excuse for what she did.
It's too early to say right now if he abused you...he may have.
Deal with the feelings as they come.

My grandfather abused my mother too. He never sexually abused me, but he did physically abuse me. He likes to make little children cry.

My husband and I had EMDR therapy for a year.
We both suffered from massive amnesia , or in fact major dissociative amnesia.
I could not believe what emerged from these sessions.Feelings, smells, words, very precise and detailed images that gave no place to doubt;my husband could describe the prison he was trortured in with so many details.i also could see some details of the furniture, could smell my mother's perfume etc...
I either had these openings in the session itself or way after when it seemed nothing at happened during the session when I had been completely numb or cut off from my memories. This after effect was more difficult to handle.Ihad to remember to keep going back to the safe place developped as a protocole for EMDR and stay grounded in the present moment.
I found there was no reason to doubt what was revaled with so much accuracy..t
he real struggle was inside myself, not being ready to accept the truth that manifested so abrupty after years of dissociation.

Sometimes I wonder if disassociation may not be the easier way to live. I wouldnt want to dig up repressed memories because the ones I have not repressed are so bad. Not to judge anyone who does go to therapy to help them deal with these feelings but I cant. I know I have negative memories and issues from my abuse and from reading all these post and not feeling so alone I think of myself as in therapy and doing fine considering. Thank you for sharing.

Wow talk about a run on sentence. I so see what my lit teacher is talking about now. I just don't really see writing as something your should restrict with so many rules. shesh... Damned if I do and damned if I don't

EMDR has been really helpful to me and yes, I have also had the experience of feeling for years something was "not right" about my grandfather before I accessed the memories of what he did to me. Keep taking care of yourself and if there are memories to come forward, they will when the time is right. I do think EMDR helps us access them because as we process some trauma there is space for other trauma to be addressed. Because of that, I have at times postponed doing the EMDR and just used the session to talk. I have had rough times outside of therapy when memories or flashbacks came up for me. The safe place in the EMDR protocol is the image I have learned to pull up while saying certain affirmations that help me shift my focus away from the trauma. good luck with the EMDR, nothing99. I really believe in it and still do it. It helps.

Chances are you're right about your suspicions. I have heard many talk about what they thought might be, and in time their suspicions were correct. It just takes time. Coming from someone who's walked this healing journey a very long time, please do yourself a favour and let those tears flow, it will help you heal faster. Those men that say men aren't suppose to cry are usually the ones that die from cancer and heart attacks thinking their strong by carrying a that crap around inside them. We were given tears for a reason, You doing great, My Best To You, Blaine