Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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sunnydays123 05/03/2012

Hello all,

I am getting started in my new job and they have told me that I am to "be myself". This is really a new and exciting proposition to me because my parent/friends/mentors have all wanted me to suppress my true self and only be the kind of person they need me to be. Has anyone else had to pretend to be someone they are not in order to keep the peace? Are you now able to be yourself in your work/pleasure life?

bluedragon41 05/03/2012

(first thought)
Considering I may have alters...MAN, I gotta LOT of personality these days (Ba-dum-ting!).

(second thought)
I do find that people like me more when I relax and am genuinely myself.
My wife wants me to heal...yet my healing has almost led to divorce...

(third thought) You are used to being around a lot of narcissists.

deleted_user 05/03/2012

Being myself - now there's an interesting concept. I grew up being whoever the person I was with at the time wanted me to be - which is very hard work when you don't know the person and you have to work out who they might want you to be. Even without that it sucks, but as I had never been allowed to be myself I didn't know anything else.

After a few years of therapy and with the unwitting help of a confused husband I am beginning to discover who I might be and what character traits I might have. So I'd say my problem is less whether I can be myself, but who the hell am I? and Is it OK to be that person?

deleted_user 05/03/2012

I have always been a cameleon to blend in with whatever group i am in. It helped to not rock the boat, to be the good girl. I held in my experience because i was concerned with what my mother would do with six children and no husband to support her.... Later it came out because my brother used it in an argument with her changing the argument off him. I am 42 years old and i am only now starting to get to know myself let alone show my true self to my friends and family. Good luck with your journey on finding yourself, it takes a while I'm still sifting through my baggage.

deleted_user 05/03/2012

As long as i do not get personally invloved with anyone i can be very professional.
Like an actor playing their role.

But if i feel any little bond with anyone i go nuts.I can not hnadle it.Its a huge problem from me because i'm close to noone in my real life.If i get close i sabotage my relationship sooner or later proving to myself that noone is to be trusted.
Sometimes i'm right and sometimes i'm not sure but i act as if i am.
huge problems when it comes to interpersonal realtionships...ugh....

deleted_user 05/03/2012

First off, congratulations on the new job!

It's GREAT that they told you to just be yourself....what a concept! I hope you find acceptance and independence there!

@Hylie...LMAO you're a nut!

sunnydays123 05/03/2012

hylier- you're correct! It seems like every significant relationship I have had has been with narcissists. I am learning how to hate them.

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