That's true in a way.
But you get to also grieve, deny, be angry, and try to negotiate a way around feeling all that pain.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

I lost the person I could have been. I've been weakened and damaged, irreparably so. That's just the way it is.
I had to grieve the me I would have been had I had sane, protective parents. THAT me could have done anything.
The me I have left is fairly mangled.

As far as pushing it away, part of the reason we have alters is to compartmentalize horrible things that we couldn't bear to remember as a child and stay sane. You have more work to do, yeah, but it will take a long time.
This is a long hike, not a run.

I also wonder how I would have turned out if the abuse were not there. But, that is somewhat a waste of time, it's sort of like asking what my life would have been like if I were born blonde or had a different color skin. Personally I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on that sort of thing. So, I start where I am, not where I would like to have been if the abuse had not occurred.
I know I have used this analogy before, but I often see myself as a vase that was shattered by abuse; without professional help I put it back together the best I could, but I had a lot of pieces out of place and "glued" in at the wrong angles so to speak. I looked like a vase, but was no longer functional. Then I had to allow myself to be 're-broken' in order to, with help, get many of the piece back into the correct place and closer to how they were before the abuse.
It has taken a long time, but I think, again with help and perseverance, many of the pieces are back in place, I am now more "functional" and able to feel better about myself, But I am aware that I will always have the shattered past and the years spent in repair.
I hope that you find some motivation in this, that you give yourself patience and time, seek the correct help YOU need to assist you, whatever that is. I wish you peace and personal acceptance of yourself. Never let the damage of the past hold you back from reaching for the best of the future - it is available to all who seek it.

I think it happens in stages. You have probably accepted it to a certain extent, but yes, I think if you still feel pain there is more work to do. I have been feeling that about my past a lot lately. sometimes I feel acceptance and sometimes I feel fear, shame, rage, sadness.

sometimes it is good to push things away temporarily. I can get overwhelmed with the the process of 'accepting.'

my therapist has helped me realize that when pain can be processed into sadness, that is progress, and when sadness is processed to something calmer and more objective, that is a lot like acceptance. the only way I have made any progress in those things has been to address shame and fear, and the only way I have been able to do that has been to feel rage.

I don't think there is any logic or order to all these feelings, though. they just jumble up and come all at once sometimes!

sorry to ramble on - i want to encourage you theblackrose but I am not sure I am making any sense. what I want you to know is that you can do well whatever work is there to be done about the pain you are still feeling. be patient and know we are here for you

theblackrose,

You are doing fine. You will heal as you will.

And if you find yourself pushing things away then ask yourself if what you're dealing with is too big and can it be dealt with in smaller pieces.

Give yourself all the time and space you need.

xx
SuzA