BTW - this is my in-person group in my city.

You're not overreacting. The thing is, is you only need to share IF and WHEN you're ready to WHOMEVER you feel comfortable talking to. Do not let anyone coerce you into talking about something if you're not ready for it.

I, personally, think that her comment is ridiculous. Stay true to you and what you're comfortable with and ready for. No one can force the healing process on you, you take steps as you go and as you're ready.

I don't know if she's a wack job or is well intentioned but misguided. Tell her she is required to listen to and respect you.

She can encourage you to talk, but not to require you to. Does she get the difference?

You don't have to say anything you don't want to - and shouldn't.

Thanks, yea I tried to explain my feelings but she wouldn't engage me in conversation; just kept mirroring everything I said. She said that the group, which is a non-profit 501 c3 service org (ASCA) Adult Survivors of Child Abuse is for TALKING about child abuse. I thought it was for Child abuse survivors to have the OPPORTUNITY to talk about abuse if they so choose. That's what it says in the hand-out she gave me. It also says that I am to abide by any interventions which is apparently what she is standing on. I've emailed the org, so we'll see. I think she is just trying to run it her way, I thought I was attending a public meeting, not private. Thanks for your comments, good to know I'm not crazy!

Sounds like she doesn't have the sensitivity or knowledge required to run the group. Good you stood up to her.

A group for adult survivors of child abuse should be a safe place, where you can feel comfortable talking about what you need to talk about and are ready to talk about. Most groups I've been in prefer you to talk about how things are affecting you now and how you are managing feelings. How can anyone expect you to share things that are so personal in a group setting. I think she needs to make it a safe place. I have not stayed in groups that I found unsafe. Something like that I would find very triggering.

Thanks everyone. When she called me to tell me that I needed to say at least one sentence that ties my story to the abuse I told her that I wasn't entirely sold that repeating the abuse over and over again was entirely healing, yea talking when you feel like it - not making yourself talk about something you don't want to. Her comment was ridiculous. I think she is constructing the group the way she wants it to be regardless of the rules of the org. The org wrote me back and confirmed that I do not have to speak at all about the abuse if I don't want to. I'll confront her again and see what happens. Thanks again all.

My therapist tells me all the time that I can talk about anything-present struggles, abuse related stuff or whatever...I think any group should be like that. It is OUR choice what to share and when to share it. I can not tell you how many times I just don't want to go there and rehash child abuse-for whatever reason-sometimes I just know it will be too painful, sometimes I am just not in the mood, and sometimes I really do have other things related to life right now that I need to deal with and dredging up child abuse stuff will just make things harder.

If I had that happen to me, I would quit the group. Even if you prove that you were right, are you going to feel safe in that kind of setting? I don't know if I would. The leader sounds like an asshole.

Thanks, I didn't go today and I have all but decided to quit. The org contacted me and said that I do not have to say one sentence that I don't feel like saying. I wrote and told her that what difference does it make what she says unless maybe it is a profuse apology. Thanks all.