Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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Fathers day....

theblackrose
theblackrose
I'm really dreading tomorrow. I'm a complete mess tonight! Throwing up, my arm is torn up from cutting, I feel so numb and torn apart... The flashbacks are killing me. I feel so depressed and I've been hiding away and avoiding everyone all day... I'm so dreading tomorrow.. My brother and the witch and my nephews are coming over. My arms are covered in cuts and I don't want my brother to panic, I don't want to be the reason he's sad.... But that witch! That evil witch will taunt me. She will tear me to bits... And what am I going to tell my nephews? That there aunt is a psychopath? I'll never see them ever again... Everyones going to treat me like an experiment, an animal and mother will lock me away for ruining her party with my cuts.... I don't want tomorrow to come. I just want to be at the group home already... I just want to get out of this terrible place!! I need to get out of here before I lose it... >.< I'm going to lose it!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Black Rose I'm so sorry you are having flashbacks and cutting. I wish you were out of there too! I have no idea what advice to give you I can only be here if you need me!
Dragonfly2810
Dragonfly2810
I am so sorry too - sounds like you are worried about what the others are thinking and feeling. try to remember it is not your job to take care of your brother or your nephews or your mom. I have an idea that you might find useful. I call it the pink bubble. what you could do is sit for twenty minutes in the morning before anyone talks to you (hopefully you have your own room and some privacy - maybe you could set your alarm to wake up before your parents). while you are sitting, keep your spine straight. concentrate on on your breath. As you breathe in, imagine pink light (or whatever color pleases you - I think pink, green, gold and white work best) and imagine that as you breathe out, you are creating this pink forcefield or bubble that protects your space from other people's emotions and thoughts. A yoga posture for protecting your space is to cross your ankles and touch your index fingers to your thumbs. You could do this as you are breathing in and out and imagining your bubble.

I hope it helps you - it has helped me around antagonistic and angry people.

we are here for you Black Rose.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was waiting for someone to post about how much they hate this day. Father's Day sucks. I hate my father. I wanted to cut too, but I am choosing to not act on it. I want to get healthy and cutting is not a healthy coping skill. I want to just let myself feel sad about today and then move on and function. I don't know how much I can function, but even if I spend most of the day sleeping, that is better than hurting myself. I have therapy tomorrow and I want my therapist to be proud of me for not cutting today. Also, I am visiting my kid in the psychiatric hospital-if I had cuts on my arms it wouldn't be good. I really hope I can not cut today. I am trying really hard not to...But I may end up doing it too.

You will be out of there soon. And eventually, you will get to a time when you never have to see or speak to them again. It makes life a lot easier. (((hug)))