Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I'm writing this from a perspective so i do not continue to feel like the victim, although i am that girl of whom i am about to write about.
Stevens age: 57
Star's age: 20
As star spends the day with her father Steven to help him with tasks at the house which he cannot do, due to his physical limitations. The day begins as soon as Alicia pulls out of the driveway and fades off into the distance. Star begins to hear her dads stories of how Alicia (her mother) is not there for him like she use to be, how she has changed and how things are not the same. Later into the afternoon he continues on nonstop but now the conversation between himself and his daughter has become more personal. He states to star that she and him are more of a couple then Alicia and him are because, Star is at the house with him more then Alicia is. Steven goes on to say to star, that because she is an adult now, he can tell her adult contented issues. He tells star that he uses a pump due to his erectile dysfunction caused by diabetes and that he has to use it in order to get hard. He also says that he gets horny alot and theres nothing he can really do about it. He wishes he had someone that would have sex with him and to cuddle up with him and make out with.
All day star hears this and does her best to not converse with him by doing tasks throughout the entire house, trying to get him off topic and what not. Yet, he continues on. Star, does not wish to speak with her father on this topic because as a little girl, her father was sexually involved with her, and she told no one. Now all the memories are bubbling up again and she doesnt know what to do as her dad continues rambling on about his sex life.
Finally, the hours pass by as slow as months and Alicia returns home and Star is freed from her tortuous day with her father, until tomorrow.
Stevens age: 57
Star's age: 20
As star spends the day with her father Steven to help him with tasks at the house which he cannot do, due to his physical limitations. The day begins as soon as Alicia pulls out of the driveway and fades off into the distance. Star begins to hear her dads stories of how Alicia (her mother) is not there for him like she use to be, how she has changed and how things are not the same. Later into the afternoon he continues on nonstop but now the conversation between himself and his daughter has become more personal. He states to star that she and him are more of a couple then Alicia and him are because, Star is at the house with him more then Alicia is. Steven goes on to say to star, that because she is an adult now, he can tell her adult contented issues. He tells star that he uses a pump due to his erectile dysfunction caused by diabetes and that he has to use it in order to get hard. He also says that he gets horny alot and theres nothing he can really do about it. He wishes he had someone that would have sex with him and to cuddle up with him and make out with.
All day star hears this and does her best to not converse with him by doing tasks throughout the entire house, trying to get him off topic and what not. Yet, he continues on. Star, does not wish to speak with her father on this topic because as a little girl, her father was sexually involved with her, and she told no one. Now all the memories are bubbling up again and she doesnt know what to do as her dad continues rambling on about his sex life.
Finally, the hours pass by as slow as months and Alicia returns home and Star is freed from her tortuous day with her father, until tomorrow.
You stop it one of two ways, one you tell your mother "I'm sorry mom but I can't help anymore so I won't be back" and then not go back. Of course she'll ask you why and the best thing you could do to not feel like a victim is to empower yourself and you do this by telling her exactly word for word what your father said to you as well as what he did to you when you were little. That would be the most positive and healthy thing you could do and then stick to it and not go back. But if you can't do that then you must find the courage and strength to tell your father in no uncertain terms that what he said to you is completely and totally unacceptable to you and to NEVER. EVER talk to you about anything even remotely associated with his sex life or anything sexual again and if he does you'll wash your hands of him and he's on his own as far as you're concerned. If you can't make yourself say the words to his face, then write it in a letter and give it to him making sure you state you won't debate, discuss or in anyway engage in any discussion over it again. Period...face to face or in writing. You are establishing a boundary that's non negotiable.
What he said is grossly offensive, it's abusive and completely unacceptable. Star...he's abusing you, talking to one's daughter even if she's now and adult about such things is abuse...age doesn't matter. Believe me he knows it's made you uncomfortable and it pleases him, this is about power and control. The fact you didn't get mad and emphatically say NO! and refuse to discuss another word only encourages him and makes him think he may be able to talk you into it. You know it's abuse by how it makes you feel....so very uncomfortable and I'm guessing scared and powerless. You're feeling trapped and powerless just as you did as a small child when he abused you. Only your not a child now but a woman, an adult. You had no power or control then but you do now...even though you may feel powerless. You are not. You couldn't walk away then, you can now. You couldn't talk back then, you can now. My heart goes out to you..you clearly are a caring and loving woman trying to do what you feel is right by both your mother and father but this crosses a line, yet again. This is one of those times where that sweet gentle nature of yours must be put on hold long enough for you to protect yourself from this abuse. You clearly don't want this but for it to stop requires you to stand up for yourself. Your father is a vile disgusting predator who is doing his best to manipulate you. You cannot allow it. You are not his wife or his girlfriend, your his daughter and fathers don't said such things to their daughters...ever.
Clearly your struggling with this and I'm guessing at many things, I dk you, the power and control your parents have over you. whether you have the means to leave, how conflicted you are when it comes to standing up for yourself with him, them, just people in general. There's much I dk I only know what you wrote tells me what a predator your father is and how difficult it is for you to stand up to him. Yet you must find a way. Please don't allow this another day. You deserve better. I know your creative just in how you presented your situation, it also tells me how uncomfortable it is for you to even talk about it as you needed to put it in 3rd person format. Find a creative way to set him straight if leaving, face to face or in written form don't work for you. But find a way to make it emphatically clear talking to you about sex in any context is off limits and if he doesn't respect this boundary you're setting you must leave. You must do something, find what works for you but don't allow your father to disrespect and abuse you another day.
http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Oprah-Talks-to-Child-Molesters-Part-1-Video
One day at a time, Star reclaims her life,realises she can't count on Alicia who is in complete denial , finds professional support and reports her perpetrator to the police.
Star shines.