I totally have felt that feeling many, many times. It is not fun. It feels so bad and it always makes me think it is never going to go away but really, it will eventually pass. Sometimes I try to sleep until it goes away. I just try to do something to feel safe-like curling up next to one of my cats (I have 2). I have spent most of my life using unhealthy ways to escape-but now i am trying really hard to find healthy ways to escape from the pain when it gets to be too much. It is really hard to do. I hope you start to feel better soon.

In your case, Hopeless, I want you to run away too...to somewhere safe.
I think the rotten situation you're in isn't your fault and isn't about you per se, it's about family dynamics.

The short answer is - you can't.

But it isn't you that's the problem, it's your surroundings, it's the people who make you unsafe. They are the problem.

I hope that one day, and the sooner the better, you will escape from them.

Hugs

My favorite saying used to be "I want to run away where I can't find me." but I kept finding me. It's not a joke, most of my life I've felt that way.

hopless25,

It's already been said, "You can't."

Nor do you really want to because the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have.

There are those who disagree saying their children or spouse or best friends are most important, but I believe that if you cannot connect with and love yourself what do you really bring to the table?

Before I found and connected with my Self, the things I brought to the table were things I thought other people wanted or things I thought I "should" bring to the table. Or things I was programmed to bring--but I never brought me.

Do not try to escape yourself--that is a mistake. Change your environment instead. Change the kinds of people you hang with--if they are dysfunctional. Change those thoughts that keep you tied to your past.

Change yourself if you must, but do not run from who you are...face it and hold on tight to that child within who suffered incest, and sexual abuse because she needs you. She needs you not to run.

xx
SuzA

Thanks everyone that's what I did I slept but sucky thing is these crazy dreams I have been having..I am trying to escape my house I just have to work a little then i'm gone....SuzA66 reading that made me cry cause it's true my inner child the one that is in so much pain is what causes everything because i'm so use to wearing a mask and acting like i'm ok but once night hits and i'm alone the mask comes off and the child inside cries for help..

@Suza - this is beautiful.

Life will get better. I was abused and forced to have sex with a lot of peopl eincluding my aunt. I have been rented to others who paid to have sex with me. I have been hurt in ways that do not seem possible. Please hang in there. If you need a friend then please call on me.

Thank you survivor35 its just hard for things to get better when things are still happening. Its like i go away to school and that's my bandage on this wound and once summer comes its like scratching at an old cut it never gets the chance to heal

i was sex abused from the age of five to around seven by my aunt and some friends of her's its hard but i could kinda go out of my body and put myself into the flintstones carton. its crazy i know but it helped me servive. i was cut with a paint scrapper inside my female parts and they used me as a human sircerfice in a devil star so i just learned to remove my mind from my body. i still have times i can smell or see things that trigger me to go into depression. but just remember they can not hurt you anymore. and try to love yourself and remember it was not your fault. try to let it go because as long as you hold on to it that person is still winning. i think some of the hardest thing for me was that it happened from a woman but i know in reality its the same . just have faith and god will walk you threw this. and dont let them take your life. you have to keep fighting and never give up maybe one day you will be helping someone like yourself. lots of love,,mitchi

You say this is still happening? Please, please do anything you need to do to remove yourself from this situation. You can't escape yourself as long as it is still happening. Reach out to whoever you can to help you get out of it. Don't let guilt or shame stop you. Don't be like me and wait 30 + years. You are worth whatever it takes to get out of it. Please do it now!

mitchi1833 i'm so sorry you have been through all of that, but i know what you mean about putting yourself in a cartoon i've done that too.. unfortunately i am still being sexually abused i'm trying to find a way out so i can finally heal...I move back home tomorrow :(

Please don't go home hopeless, please find somewhere else to stay.
You deserve to be safe, you do not deserve your family.

Thinking of you.

I have no where else to go right now