It sounds like you are in a severe depression. That would be normal for what you have gone through. Are you seeing a therapist that specializes in abuse survivors? That can really help, but can take some time. I went through a couple of bouts with severe depression and I know how awful you feel. People used to say to me just snap out of it and that hurt so much. I certainly would have if I could. It took me a lot of time and a very good therapist. Try to be gentle with yourself.

Hi Make,
I felt the exact same as you; I could feel the negative emotions, but not the happy ones. I did try taking anti-depressant medication, but it seemed just to reduce the emotions I could feel anyway, not help me to feel the happy ones. It didn't really work how I wanted it to, although some people say it works for them.

My advice is just what loum said, be gentle on yourself. Emotions are not under our control like some people think. They seem to rise up from somewhere, and though you can push them down, you can't make them come up. You probably have some memory-you that is clamped down hard on the joy feelings, not letting them out. She's angry and hurt, I'm thinking and she feels like no one is really listening to her. I've had a hard time feeling validated, except in this group. People here can accept all your emotions, and that helps a lot to get them flowing.

Good luck to you, you sound like you are on the right track.

Take care of yourself. Emotions just are.They are how you feel. You feel sad, that sucks, but it's OK. There's nothing wrong with that except that you'd like to feel something else. Let the sadness have its place and eventually it will move on. Do whatever you need in a kind way in order to comfort yourself.

Hugs.