Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I've had a series of three dreams. I think an inner child part is trying to communicate with me.
In the first dream, someone very sneeky is following me. I turn around and face him and tell him to leave me alone. Then I realize I'm outside my therapist's office.
I think the person following me represents my father and how he has affected my life so much. I think that inner part feels safe and supported enough by my therapist to stand up to the memory of my father and to let go of the trauma he caused me and to work on recovery.
In the second dream. My father is ridiculing me. I become suicidal and intend to jump in front of a train. I wake up before I do, but still feel suicidal.
I think this means that that child part is ready to let go of the illusion that my father was good and that I was bad.
In the third dream, I needed my mother and she was totally ignoring me. Again I became suicidal and woke up with those feelings.
I think this is like the second. I think that inner part is ready to accept that my mother did not protect me and that it wasn't because I was bad, she just didn't care.
In the first dream, someone very sneeky is following me. I turn around and face him and tell him to leave me alone. Then I realize I'm outside my therapist's office.
I think the person following me represents my father and how he has affected my life so much. I think that inner part feels safe and supported enough by my therapist to stand up to the memory of my father and to let go of the trauma he caused me and to work on recovery.
In the second dream. My father is ridiculing me. I become suicidal and intend to jump in front of a train. I wake up before I do, but still feel suicidal.
I think this means that that child part is ready to let go of the illusion that my father was good and that I was bad.
In the third dream, I needed my mother and she was totally ignoring me. Again I became suicidal and woke up with those feelings.
I think this is like the second. I think that inner part is ready to accept that my mother did not protect me and that it wasn't because I was bad, she just didn't care.
How are you when you awake, you say you feel suicidal --- sendin you lots of hugs and peace.
From my experience,our abusers are still in our mind, even when dead, and still "chasing up" so that we do not speak out.It is like having to deactivate a mind control device inside us in order to be able to tell our therapist what went on.
Your father must have really terrified you to the point of deep dissociation and suicidal impulses.But you have mastered the courage to face him and tell him to stop.
i was able to realise that my part who is suicidal and wants to self injure still reacts to internal stimuli left by my perpetrators.
It is painful when we realise the truth about our parents, their psychopathology.How they maintained us under their hold for so long.
It puts me in a rage to discover all this at my age but on the other hand, I feel we are very lucky to have been able to discover the truth and be physically away from that hell.
i know you are excellent at computers, you are going to find all the bugs and deprogram all those cues they installed in you and help us do the same.
Hugs
I am glad you are getting and feeling better
sending you hugs, hope all is well