Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
A lot of times something triggers me and I get a delayed reaction. I don't know what I'm feeling, but I know something is going on. I may want to eat when I know I'm not hungry, or I may feel some anxioty, or I may havevurges to hurt myself, then I know I have something going on. I went to a meeting tonight and a lot of people were sharing about relatives that attempted suicide or committed suicide. I don't have relatives that did that, I was the one that attempted suicide as a child. I know it triggered something in me, but I don't know what yet. I am feeling some anxioty, but I don't know what elseI am feeling. No urges to do anything yet, but I am worried because the anxioty is there.
deleted_user
I wish I had answers for you. I don't know what to do with the anxiety either but it does pass. I have not gone a day without either alcohol or vallium in a very long time. As soon as the anxiety comes I tell myself that I can have a drink tonight and that is the only way I self soothe because I know it works. Suicide is a huge trigger for me, so even commenting on it right now is something I don't wish to do to myself but knowing that you are in control of what you do with your anxiety is your powerful tool in this equation. Anxiety is scary because (well for me) I am terrified of it turning into a full blown anxiety attack. That lack of control scares the hell out of me. I am not scared I will hurt myself, I am just scared of the hurt.
loum50
I don't know what I'm feeling, I know I don't want to feel. I can't drink because of all the meds I take. I'm getting very depressed and I won't accept that again. There is no escape.
deleted_user
I tend to overeat to punish myself not for pleasure. I need to know how to be kind to myself as the relationships I have had are always abusive and they remind me of my childhood abuser, I think that since as a child I was never shown kindness or respect its hard to expect it when an adult. I get angry when not respected and I find that harder to deal with than the anxiety although when angry it always turns into angry tears
loum50
I tend to turn to food too, but supriseingly I'm not craving food. It's easy for me to turn the anger on myself or to be angry at the world, but I think I am to afraid to turn the anger on my abuser. Isn't that silly?
loum50
I'm not sure but I think I know what is going on. After talking to a few friends on DS, I think I know what is going on but I don't know how to archive a solution. As a child I was so absolutely terrified of my father there was no safe way to focus my anger at him. So I internalized it I focused all that anger and hate on myself, it was safer. Now I don't even have a clue as to how I can find a way to be angry at him. I know I need to let it out, it's eating me up inside. I just don't feel any anger at him. I envy people that can be honestly angry at their abusers. I need to be able to do that in order to heal. I feel a bottomless pit of anger at myself, but not at him. Maybe I believed I deserved it at one time, but not now. No one deserves this. How do I get angry at him when I don't feel it? How do I get past that fear my inner child has of him to let that child be angry at him and put that hate where it belongs? Instead I want to hurt myself, that is easy.
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